General RP ℂ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 | Froshi & Sol

[Solaris-]

The way Rowan had gasped at the careful bite Dmitri had placed on them made him want to hear more of those noises. He wanted to hear what sounds he could get out of them when he touched them, how he could make their body react to him giving the same eager attention they were so carefully giving him. "I already feel good. I have the most beautiful person sitting on top of me, touching me so carefully." He would have to be someone with monk levels of control to not be affected by them. His body was tingling, burning really with a fire that couldn't be extinguished. The first time they had kissed his neck before all of this started, they had unknowingly already doomed him into this heightened level of excitement even if they'd not meant to. Rowan's bites were still tentative, but he felt this one. The sharp teeth against that sensitive skin made the hand that wrapped around Rowan's thigh squeeze a little harder and another soft noise leave him. It would likely leave a little bruise there, but one he wouldn't mind wearing even if people stared. "If you suck a little on the bite mark, you can leave bigger marks."

The fingers that traced along that happy trail made taut stomach muscles flex under the gentle caress and he let out a breathy moan just from the sensation. Their hand was so close to the waistband of his jeans. So close to the crux of his need and arousal. Amber hues were silently begging for whatever Rowan was willing to give. The intensity of his gaze and the way he was holding their thigh already answering the question that fell from their lips.

And yet, Dmitri was in no rush for them to touch him there quite yet. As much as he wanted to feel them caressing him, he too wanted to touch them and give them the same pleasure they were giving him. The button of his pants was undone, revealing more of that groomed strip of hair and the tight boxers that lay underneath. Not having the constraining fabric press against him was blessing and curse in equal measure. "I'm all yours, Ptichka."

He shivered as those lips that trailed kisses down his stomach and chest made him throb underneath them- so gentle and explorative in the way that they pressed against his warm skin. Goosebumps had sprouted along the length of his arms. Undoubtedly under whatever spell Rowan had put him under now. "Everything you're doing feels good." There was another playful roll of his ups right up against Rowan's ass- body shuddering hard at the new wave of sensation it had brought with it. "My body is on fire because of you. You made me this hard and you've barely touched me." It was difficult to articulate how that only made him even more excited the be underneath them and subject to their eager attentions. "I'm the only one who has really touched my body, and for you to get me this excited this quickly. Trust me when I tell you that I like everything you do."

He hoped his words would soothe any further worries Rowan may have. That he would continue to be just as eager for however they wanted to touch him. "Let me play with you for a little while? I want to make you feel good too." Dmitri didn't want to be selfish and ask that they only give him this with no expectation that they would get it in return. "I want to know what makes you squirm and moan too." He had moved his hand along their hip to rest against their ass- giving the firm flesh under their jeans a firm squeeze. He too wanted to learn the way their body trembled and shivered underneath him- what made them moan and gasp as well.​

 

[Froshimaru]

The instant Dmitri’s voice slipped into Rowan’s ear.

Low.
Ugent.

I’m all yours.

A lightning bolt shattered through their chest, as if their heart had exploded and reformed in that breath. His words pressed against their skin like molten gold, a promise searing its claim into every nerve ending. For the first time, someone had staked their claim on Rowan, and the sensation was both intoxicating and terrifying. Rowan leaned in until their lips brushed the gentle swell of his stomach, a shiver pulsing between them. “I like that,” they whispered, voice trembling with wonder, words tasting of awe and heat against his skin. “You being mine—even if I haven’t the faintest idea what I’m doing.”

Dmitri’s hand curved around the hollow of their hip, fingertips burning along the seam of their jeans before gripping with possessive strength. Rowan froze - thrilled by the fierce reciprocity of it. He wanted them as desperately as they wanted him. Their breath caught, raw and electric. “You want to-?”

They pulled back just enough to see the storm of emotion in his eyes - surprise, hunger, delight. “Yes,” they blurted, voice rough with urgency. “Yes, absolutely. I never thought... I thought making you feel good would be enough. But if you want to touch me too...” Their words spilled out, breathy and uneven, as they straddled him, torsos bare, skin craving contact.

A tug of old habits wove through Rowan’s fingers as they worked at their waistband. “I should warn you...” Their voice dropped, brittle with vulnerability. “It’s been years. I might be awkward, hypersensitive so don't.. don’t expect anything flawless.”

Still, they slid their jeans down, the rush of cool air electrifying their thighs. They wanted this - his hands exploring them as theirs had explored him - with the same deliberate reverence. Eyes flicking to him, they sought his command.

“Tell me what to do,” they breathed, almost a moan, clad in nothing but the hunger in their eyes. “Where do you want me?”

Hands finding his shoulders for support, they leaned forward, heart hammering with a wild cocktail of desire and trust. In the lamplight, Rowan saw the invitation in Dmitri’s gaze - the unspoken vow of tenderness, even when every instinct screamed to hold back.

“I want you to touch me,” they confessed, voice quivering like a leaf in a storm. “I need to know why you make me feel so alive.”​

 

[Solaris-]

It was a bit scary to think about just how much he wanted this- wanted Rowan. With most people, he flinched when they tried to get close to him or when they tried to touch him. Even having to steel his nerves against the warm hugs of his parents when they'd wrapped their arms around him at the hospital a few days before. Touch like this that set his whole body ablaze and made every nerve tingle in a way that made him dizzy and breathless was a wholly new experience. Perhaps it was just because both of them were so starved for touch that they were being so careful with one another even in their desperation and urgency behind their actions and words. "Neither of us really know what we're doing. But I want to learn." Wanted to learn what made Rowan excited and make them just as warm as he felt laying underneath them. Somehow this made him feel like a nervous virgin that was trying so hard to not disappoint his partner. With both of them admitting that neither of them had really been touched by someone else in years, he supposed that feeling of them being akin to virgins wasn't entirely unfounded. That still didn't deter him in anyway.

He watched as Rowan pulled off their own jean. Eyes taking in the sight of the exposed flesh of their slender body. Those soft, fleshy thighs he'd previously been holding now exposed to him to look upon with reverent care. Rowan worried too much about what Dmitri thought about their body. It was clear in his eyes and face exactly what he thought of Rowan. He might've been good at hiding his emotions to those that didn't know how to look, but he didn't hide his earnest admiration for Rowan from them."Not only do I want to touch you," He began as his arm moved up to wrap around their slender midsection. His hand cradled the back of their head gently in his palm as he shifted his weight to where their positions would be swapped with Dmitri leaning over the other now and cushioning their already soft landing against the bed with his hands. His lips pressed hard against theirs- lips parted enough for his tongue to move to trace along the gentle line of Rowan's kiss-swollen lower lip. "I want you." He kept his hips pressed close. Even though Rowan's hands were not exploring him any longer, he still remained just as excited as he'd been when they were atop him. A reminder of just what they'd done to him on their own. "Want to make you make cute, eager noises while I worship you~"

Dmitri's thumbs pulled at the waistband of his own jeans. Too restrictive of his movements even if they were undone. Though he left his underwear on for now and placed the pants into the pile of the both of their clothes that collected on the floor. When he returned to lean over the body of his eager lover he lowered his mouth to the place right under where their jaw met their neck. Gentle kisses, the ghost of lips pressing against heated skin. "Just tell me if you like what I do. Or if you don't like it please tell me too." He hoped he didn't disappoint them or do something they didn't like. Despite the nervousness he felt, he still eagerly pressed kisses against their heated skin. Alternating now between playful nips and gentle lashes of lips and tongue to sooth the places where his teeth marked. Not biting down as hard as the first time as even though he'd told Rowan to leave marks on him, he would do his best to not leave them too many eager hickeys to cover up.

Dmitri's hand moved along their chest- fingers tracing the lines of scars there. They were part of Rowan- beautiful by association. A story behind each, no doubt even if they didn't want to speak on them. He didn't have to know their significance to give them the same eager care. He lifted one of their hands to rest it gently against the back of his head- pressing their palm against the nape of his neck underneath dark cola colored waves. "Rest your hand here. Don't pull my hair out, but let me know if you like what I'm doing." The words were quiet as he once again pressed his lips down against their skin. Moving his hand back upwards against their chest, they brushed gently against one of their nipples and he gave the pert bud a squeeze between his fingers, rolling it between his digits, and then tugging it gently. "You're so beautiful, Rowan."

Even despite the pleasant, eager, and consuming haze, there was a semblance of rational thought that eeked through to his brain. They were both still exhausted, and they had planned this delightfully horny moment poorly when neither of them had really been expected it. There was also a fear in the back of his mind that if they did go all the way rather than just touch each other in places that made their bodies burn with need, his lack of stamina might disappoint them. "Do you mind if we don't go all the way this time?" His voice was a quiet, heady whisper against the soft skin of their shoulder where he'd bitten them before. "I want to eventually with you, to feel you in every way, but I would rather be better prepared for that without rushing you or myself." They could still enjoy each other's bodies in other ways, and it made sure they could take their time with it without pushing for something else neither was ready to give.​

 

[Froshimaru]

Dmitri's hand came up to cradle their face, thumb brushing across their cheek with such tenderness it made Rowan's chest ache.

"You're real," he murmured, voice still rough from everything they'd just done. "I'm real. This happened. And it was—" He paused, seeming to search for the right words. "It was perfect. You were perfect. Even the awkward parts. Especially those."

Rowan let out a shaky breath that might have been a laugh or might have been something closer to a sob. Relief flooded through them so intensely their whole body went boneless against his.

"Okay," they whispered, pressing their face into the curve of his neck. "Okay good. That's—I'm glad. I was worried I'd somehow fucked it up by being too much in my head about everything."

Their fingers traced lazy patterns across his chest, careful always of the bandages. The adrenaline was finally draining away completely, leaving behind bone-deep exhaustion and a contentment so profound it scared them a little.

"I liked it," they admitted quietly. "When you flipped us over. When you took charge like that. I'm always trying to control everything, always calculating, always worried about messing up. But you just... you knew what you were doing. Made me feel like I didn't have to think so hard."

They pressed closer, seeking warmth and reassurance and the grounding weight of another body next to theirs.

"And I'm glad we didn't go all the way," they continued, words getting slower as sleep tried to claim them. "This was already a lot. Good lot. But a lot. I don't think I could have handled more without completely losing it."

Their leg hooked over his, arm draped across his waist, holding him like he might disappear if they didn't maintain physical contact.

"Thank you for asking. For checking. For making sure I was okay with everything." Their voice was barely audible now, muffled against his skin. "No one's ever done that before. Made it feel like what I wanted actually mattered."

The lamp cast soft shadows across the ceiling. Outside, Portland was doing its evening thing—distant traffic sounds, the muffled noise of neighbors, the particular quality of city life happening beyond these walls. But in here it was just them, tangled together in rumpled sheets, learning what it felt like to be held without fear.

"I'm gonna fall asleep," Rowan mumbled, already halfway there. "Don't let go though. Even if I'm being clingy. I need to know you're still here when I wake up."

Their breathing was evening out, body finally surrendering to exhaustion. The last thing they felt before sleep took them was Dmitri's hand in their hair, gentle and grounding, and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under their ear.

Proof that this was real. That they'd found something worth staying for.

That maybe, just maybe, they didn't have to keep running anymore.​

 

[Solaris-]

Dmitri settled down onto the bed next to Rowan. His body had been tired before this, but there was no doubt in his mind that it wouldn't be too long before sleep took over him as well. He hadn't bothered reaching for his clothes and only pulled the coverlet up over their naked bodies as they laid there next to each other. Hand returning to wrap around Rowan's middle. The other one still rested in their hair- offering gentle and reassuring pets. "You made me hard before our clothes even came off, Rowan. I don't think you should overthink about whether or not I enjoyed what you were doing to me." His voice was quiet too- tinged with sleep and still coming down from the high of their intimacy. He'd been reminded that sex didn't need to be rushed, and they hadn't even needed to do more than what they'd done for both of them to clearly enjoy themselves. It'd been awkward at points, but even that was endearing and made it feel more real.

His lips pressed a kiss against Rowan's forehead. "I like when you're clingy." Soft amber eyes closed. When Rowan clung to him it made him feel wanted, and as a person whose love language was physical touch, he always wanted to touch them even if it was just holding hands. Even that simple gesture alone hadn't gotten old to him and he doubted that it would. Feeling Rowan wrap themselves around him like this made him even more fulfilled than the sex had. "I won't go anywhere, Ptichka."

The lull of the rain and the white noise of the ambient hotel sounds had already relaxed him into the early stages of sleep. Holding onto Rowan like they were the most precious thing to him in this world.

--

Sleep had come easy with Rowan there. But actual rest was always tempestuous at best. Now that he wasn't exhausted, and his mind wasn't addled with attempting to keep himself occupied so he didn't sleep and so he didn’t fall back into the trap of thinking that he shouldn’t exist, the nightmares returned all too suddenly. He could still feel her weight and her anger as though he were still living through that trauma in real time again. Even the sting of the knife too felt real- as sharp and painful as it'd been the first time. And the moment it came down again, he found himself awake- body trembling as though he were cold even though he knew it was from frayed nerves from waking up suddenly. His limbs were still wrapped around Rowan there was a wetness against those soft locks of hair his head had rested on that he quickly realized had come from his own eyes.

Dmitri let out a shaky breath. It had been a dream. Just a dream. A reminder of what had happened to him that he knew he would have to live with until he found a better way to deal with the trauma that came from nearly dying. Unwrapping his arm slowly from Rowan, he brought it to his chest which ached angrily under the bandages. He'd pushed himself too hard today with walking around and then the intimacy, but he'd wanted to do those things even if it meant dealing with this pain afterwards. They would need to return back to his parents’ house at some point so that he could change the bandages and grab a change or two of clothes, but neither of them were in a state to do that now. Rowan made him feel alive again, and he didn't want to give that up for anything. He looked down at Rowan's sleeping face and gently stroked his thumb across their cheek. So peaceful compared to their normal, neurotic tendencies that kept him grounded and reminded him that relationships weren't supposed to happen at break-neck speed.

The clock on the bedside table told him that only four hours had passed since they'd fallen asleep there wrapped up in each other. If he didn't have to wake them up, he'd rather not interrupt their sleep even if he doubted he could go back to sleep himself. Dmitri shifted slightly- allowing his head to rest on the pillow itself instead of on top of Rowan and once more wrapped his arm around them to pull them close to him- stroking gentle patterns against their skin with his fingers. He lifted his phone from beside his glasses to see a few messages from Ashe. Once they were both fully awake, he would have to remind himself to give her a call. The way they both held each other reminded him of cats- like they were just moments away from putting their full weight on top of the other because they needed to be that close. It felt nice in a way he couldn't explain. His heartbeat had thankfully slowed from its quickened, anxious thrumming of waking up in a panic, and he allowed himself to relax once again knowing he wasn't in any danger. ​

 

[Froshimaru]

Rowan woke slowly, consciousness returning in gradual layers. First came awareness of warmth—body heat that wasn't their own, the weight of an arm around their waist, fingers tracing gentle patterns on their skin. Then came memory—oh god, everything they'd done, the way Dmitri had taken them apart with careful hands and patient attention.

Their face burned even in the darkness, but they didn't pull away from the touch. Instead they pressed closer, seeking more of that grounding contact.

Then they felt it—the slight tremor in Dmitri's fingers, the tension in his body that hadn't been there when they'd fallen asleep. The way his breathing wasn't quite even.

Rowan's eyes opened fully, adjusting to the dim light. The lamp was still on, casting everything in soft amber. Dmitri was awake, they realized. Had been awake for a while, judging by the way he'd shifted to lie on the pillow instead of on top of them.

"Hey," they murmured, voice rough with sleep. "You okay?"

But even as they asked, they could see he wasn't. There was dampness in their hair where his face had been pressed. His chest was rising and falling just slightly too fast. The hand that had been stroking patterns on their skin had a subtle shake to it.

Nightmare. Had to be.

Rowan shifted carefully, turning in his arms so they were face to face instead of pressed against his chest. Their hand came up to cup his cheek, thumb brushing away moisture they found there.

"Bad dream?" they asked quietly, not pushing, just offering the space to talk if he wanted to.

They knew that particular kind of waking—the way your body didn't understand the danger was over, the way your heart kept racing even when your brain knew you were safe. They'd lived with it for years after leaving Syria, still lived with it some nights when the dreams got particularly vivid.

"I'm here," they said softly, pressing their forehead against his. "You're safe. She's not here. It was just a dream."

Their arms wrapped around him carefully, mindful of the bandages on his chest. Holding him the way he'd held them earlier—like he was something precious that needed protecting.

"Do you want to talk about it?" they offered. "Or we can just... lie here. Whatever you need."

The clock on the bedside table read sometime past midnight. Four hours since they'd fallen asleep, which meant Dmitri probably hadn't gotten much rest at all. Rowan's heart ached for him—for the trauma he was carrying, for the way even sleep wasn't safe anymore.

"I used to have them every night," they said quietly. "After Syria. After Marcus. I'd wake up thinking I was still there, still trapped in that basement, still hearing people screaming. It took months before I could sleep through the night."

They pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, then his temple, then the corner of his mouth. Small gestures of comfort, of presence, of I'm here and you're not alone in this.

"Your chest hurts, doesn't it?" they asked, noticing the way his hand had gone to the bandages. "We probably shouldn't have... I mean, it was worth it, but we pushed you too hard today."

Guilt crept in, the familiar weight of feeling responsible for someone else's pain.

"Do you need painkillers? Or ice? Or should we go back to your parents' place so you can change the bandages?"

They were rambling now, anxious energy filling the space where sleep had been. But they forced themselves to slow down, to breathe, to focus on what Dmitri needed instead of spiraling about what they should or shouldn't have done.

"Tell me what would help," they said simply. "What do you need right now?"

Their hand found his, lacing their fingers together. Grounding both of them through touch, through the simple fact of not being alone with the darkness.​

 

[Solaris-]

Dmitri realized with all of his moving about, he'd woken Rowan even though he'd hoped to give them a little more time to rest. His own exhaustion was mostly physical and entirely self-inflicted from lack of proper sleep for God knew how long. Rowan, though, had cried harder than he'd thought someone could cry just because he'd been nice to them. The type of emotional exhaustion that came from holding feelings too close to your chest for years without letting it out. Before he could gently coax them back into sleep, they were asking if he was okay. He felt guilty both for waking them and for troubling them with his own PTSD nightmares. The voice at the back of his mind told him he didn't deserve them, and even the more rational part of his brain agreed to a far lesser degree even though this was never a thought he would voice aloud.

"I'm-" He'd started though his voice wavered more than he'd intended. Fully intending to lie so that Rowan wouldn't worry so much, but when he sounded pathetic like that, there was no way that he could lie. "No, but I will be. Once my brain calms down a bit, I'll be okay." He could feel a tight tension in his shoulders and arms and did his best to relax them both- pressing his palm flat against the small of their back as they turned to face him now. He'd forgotten momentarily just how beautiful Rowan was to him. Even half-asleep with brown and pink hair mussed from sleep, they were stunning. Dmitri had to remind himself that he wasn't still dreaming and that this beautiful, worried person was really there.

The hand that'd come up to his face to wipe away the tears that had remained on his cheeks solidified that he was truly awake and he raised his own hand to bring theirs from his cheek to press a gentle kiss against their palm. "I know it was just a dream, but it always feels so real. I can feel her weight on top of me and her anger is suffocating. I've never met anyone else who carries around that much anger." And she carried it around like a coiled, venomous snake that was just waiting for its moment to strike. It wasn't heavy handed or close fisted, but calculated, calm until it wasn't, and nearly deadly. He would never understand the desire to keep someone around that she clearly hated just because she couldn't stand to see them with someone else. All of the times he'd attempted to break up with her before and she'd begged and begged to be given more chances to stay. Dmitri would never understand that and doubted he ever would. He let out a sigh through his nose. At least his hands had mostly stopped shaking by now and his breathing had relaxed to a reasonable pace.

"Whenever I have these nightmares, I always wake up at the same place. It's always the same. The way the knife felt more like betrayal than anything she'd ever said to me." Even at her cruelest, her words hadn't affected him much other than make him doubt his self worth. But no one had betrayed him like that. Rowan's hand had wrapped around his own, and he offered a gentle squeeze of that soft palm before he settled against them. Pressing a gentle kiss against their collarbone and resting his head there. Rowan felt as safe as they always had even naked and exposed as they both still were, he knew that this was safety. His sweet, sweet little bird who was always so careful with him like he was the one who might break instead of them. "I'm sorry for waking you up, Ptichka. I was hoping you'd at least get more rest than me."

Dmitri looked up at them and let out a quiet chuckle. "Even if my chest hurts, I don't regret being with you like that. I enjoyed it and I enjoy being here like this now. Please don't feel guilty for something I wanted to do." No matter how much the wound ached and radiated white hot pain throughout his entire body now, he likely would have still made the same choices then if given a second chance. He brought his free hand up to run gentle fingers through their sleep mussed hair- offering gentle pets as reassurance. "For now, maybe just some pain killers and some food, but I'm otherwise okay." And for once, saying that, he didn't feel like it was a lie. He felt better now than he'd had upon first waking up. "Are you hungry?"​

 

[Froshimaru]

Rowan's chest tightened at the way Dmitri's voice wavered, at the careful way he was trying to be okay when he clearly wasn't. The kiss pressed to their palm felt like both a reassurance and a deflection—I'm handling this, don't worry about me.


But Rowan did worry. Couldn't help it.


"The betrayal part makes sense," they said quietly, fingers still intertwined with his. "Words can hurt but you can rationalize them away. Tell yourself the person was angry, or wrong, or just lashing out. But when someone actually tries to kill you..."


They trailed off, not sure how to finish that thought. Their own betrayals had been different—photographing Marcus instead of helping him, walking away from work that mattered because they'd broken under the weight of it. Self-betrayal more than anything.

"You don't have to apologize for waking me up," they said, pressing closer as he rested his head against their collarbone. "I'd rather be awake with you than asleep while you're dealing with this alone."

His fingers in their hair felt grounding. The gentle pets reminded them of how he'd touched them earlier—careful, reverent, like they mattered. Like their presence here meant something beyond just physical proximity.

"I am hungry," they admitted, realizing they couldn't remember the last time they'd eaten. Before the hospital? That felt like a lifetime ago. "But I don't want to leave this bed. Or you. Or this..."

They gestured vaguely at the space between them, the tangled sheets, the vulnerable intimacy of lying naked together in a hotel room while Portland did its thing outside.

"Can we order room service or something? I know it's expensive but I can—I have money. From the photography stuff. I can pay for it."

The thought of getting dressed, of leaving this room, of facing the world outside these four walls felt impossible right now. They needed more time in this bubble where it was just them, where Dmitri's nightmares could be soothed and Rowan's constant anxiety could quiet down to something manageable.

"And painkillers," they added, carefully extracting themselves from his arms. "Do you have any here with you or do we need to go back to your parents' place?"

They sat up slightly, looking around the hotel room for the first time since they'd arrived. Their scattered clothes on the floor, Dmitri's phone on the nightstand next to his glasses, the soft glow of the lamp painting everything amber.

Evidence that this had happened. That it was real.

"I don't regret it either," they said, looking back down at him. "Being with you like that. Even if we pushed too hard. It felt... it felt right. Like something I didn't know I needed until it was happening."

Their hand found his face again, thumb tracing the line of his cheekbone.

"You said you'll be okay once your brain calms down. What helps with that? Besides the painkillers and food. Is there anything else that makes the nightmares less... present?"

They wanted to help. Wanted to be useful in some way beyond just lying here and offering comfort through proximity. But they also didn't want to push, didn't want to demand emotional labor from someone who was clearly already struggling.

"I'm not great at this," they admitted quietly. "The taking care of people thing. I'm better at running away or shutting down or just... not dealing. But I want to try. For you. Just tell me what would actually help instead of what you think I want to hear."

Because they could already see Dmitri doing that thing—performing okayness even when he wasn't okay, trying to make this easier for Rowan when Rowan should be making it easier for him.

"Please," they added. "Let me help. However I can."

 

[Solaris-]

Rowan really was very sweet to worry about him.

Dmitri’s first thought was to deflect and say that he was fine- to apologize again for waking them even though they’d already told him that it was alright. Looking up at them from his place still resting against their shoulder and then on the pillow as they moved to sit up, he recalled their earlier conversations. Both of them struggling to understand the other’s point of view through harsh conversation for two people who were not quite dating. “We can just order pizza like we planned unless you wanted something else. It’s not too late to get it delivered here.” That way neither of them had to leave the comfort of the hotel room or the comfort of one another. Truthfully, Dmitri wasn’t too picky about what they ate as long as there was food sooner rather than later.

Slowly, he sat up- resting a hand against his chest that ached with the action. Even despite the rest, his whole body ached. Thankfully, he hadn’t come fully unprepared for not having expected to spend the whole night with Rowan in their new space. “My prescription bottle is in my jacket. I brought it with me since I didn’t know how long we would be out today.” Even if he hadn’t thought to bring it, he would have just dealt with the creeping ache of pain in his limbs until they could go back that morning. “It’s too late to be walking about Portland in the rain. We should let my parents know we’re alright though. They did tell us ‘or else’ earlier.” Despite it being a joke on his mother’s part, he knew she worried about him after everything that’d happened in the past few days.

His hand caught the one of Rowan’s that had moved to brush against his face and he lightly stroked the soft skin with his thumb. “I forgot it could feel like that. That it could be slow and still enjoyable.” They hadn’t even indulged fully in each other and he had still enjoyed it far more than he had in any of the other times he’d engaged in sex before. He leaned back against the headboard of the bed and released Rowan’s hand to reach over and pick up his phone and his glasses from the nightstand.

“I’m not entirely sure if I’m being honest. Last night was the first full night of sleep I’d had since it happened, and I was so tired that I didn’t really dream much when we did lay down.” He offered an apologetic smile in the other’s direction. Even as tired as he’d been after their small arguments and walking about earlier and after their intimacy, he’d still not been tired enough to stave off the nightmares that felt all too real even when he knew that she couldn’t hurt him anymore. Being in this situation- being aimless and without much knowledge of the way his life was heading now- was an unfamiliar feeling to Dmitri who had been so sure of how things were going to turn out for him. “Rowan, even if it doesn’t feel like you’re doing much, you are helping, and I don’t want you to feel like you aren’t.” Rowan wasn’t his therapist and he wasn’t about to try to force the other to deal entirely with his own problems when they were still struggling and dealing with their own. Still dealing with Dmitri trying desperately to be part of their life that they’d shut everyone out of before.

“Just having you here helps more than you know.” He was happy to have them there by his side. “For now we just get some food and enjoy the moment?” It was his turn to move his hand up to stroke along Rowan’s face. Gentle fingers against their cheek as he looked over at them. “And you can show me the pictures you promised you’d show me earlier.”​

 

[Froshimaru]

Rowan nodded, already reaching for their phone on the floor where it had ended up tangled in their discarded jeans. The screen was cracked worse than before—probably from when they'd dropped everything in their rush to get to the hospital—but it still worked.

"Pizza sounds perfect," they said, pulling up a delivery app. "What do you like on it? Please don't say pineapple. I'll still order it if you want pineapple but I'll judge you a little."

The attempted lightness felt fragile, like they were both trying to find their way back to something normal after the intensity of nightmares and intimacy and everything in between.

They watched Dmitri reach for his glasses and phone, the careful way he moved that betrayed how much pain he was still in. The guilt crept back in—they'd pushed too hard earlier, let want override common sense. But he'd said he didn't regret it, and Rowan was trying to learn how to accept that instead of spiraling.

"I'll text your parents," they offered. "Let them know we're staying at the hotel tonight and we'll come by tomorrow to change your bandages. That way you don't have to explain where you are or who you're with or... whatever."

Because explaining to his parents that he was spending the night in a hotel with someone they'd barely met felt complicated. Not wrong, just... too much to unpack right now.

Dmitri's hand on their face made them pause, made them actually look at him instead of busying themselves with logistics and avoidance.

"The pictures," they said softly. "Right. I can show you those."

They retrieved their camera bag from where they'd dropped it by the door, pulling out their laptop with careful hands. The thing was ancient, held together with stickers and hope, but it worked. They climbed back onto the bed, settling cross-legged next to Dmitri with the laptop balanced on their knees.

"Okay, so... these are rough edits," they started, already making excuses. "I haven't done final color correction or anything. But you said you wanted to see them so..."

They opened Lightroom, pulling up the folder labeled simply "Portland - Dmitri." The first image loaded—Dmitri in the hospital bed, that first moment Rowan had seen him. The exhaustion visible in every line of his face, the bandages stark white against his skin, but also something else. Relief, maybe. Or the beginning of it.

"I know this one's heavy," they said quietly. "But it felt important. Like... proof that you survived. That you're here."

They scrolled to the next one—Dmitri laughing at something Rowan had said during their walk, the afternoon light catching in his hair. Then the coffee shop, steam rising from their cups, Dmitri's careful smile more real than performed. The moment by the river when he'd gotten quiet, looking at the water like it held answers.

"This is my favorite," Rowan admitted, stopping on an image they'd taken without Dmitri noticing. He'd been looking out at the city, expression unguarded, and something about the light and the composition made him look both fragile and resilient at once.

"You can't see it in your face but I can—how hard you're fighting to be okay. How much strength it takes to keep existing after something like what happened to you."

They scrolled through more—candid moments from their day together, proof that those hours had been real. That this connection mattered enough to document.

"I haven't shown these to anyone," they said. "They're just for us. For you. Evidence that today happened and it was... it was good. Even the hard parts."

Their phone buzzed with the pizza delivery confirmation—thirty minutes. Rowan set it aside, more interested in watching Dmitri's reaction to the photos than worrying about food.

"Do you want copies?" they asked. "I can export them and send them to you. Or print them if you want physical ones. Whatever you need."

Because that's what Rowan did—documented moments so they couldn't disappear, so there was proof that beauty and connection and survival all happened in the same breath.