General RP Shackled hearts.....(Tina and AvidDreamer)

[Tina Louise2]

Ok, raise your hands.....how many of you ever saw those old Andy Griffith black and white TV shows? or the original Footloose movie with Kevin Bacon?
believe it or not, small towns like those not only exsist but religious and social strangleholds still keep them under thumb.

April, 22 and Fiona, 23, had known each other since they were 7 years old. Not only did they both live in the same small town but just across the street from each other. It wasn't a coincidence that they attended the same schools....there was only the one elementary and one high school in the microscopically small town, so they both had the same teachers and later both became cheerleaders starting in their junior year of high school.

The town in question was a microcosm of every small town in America, especially down south in the so-called 'Bible belt'. It's hard to believe that in this day and age, such towns exsist but indeed they do. The town wasn't Victorian or something out of the Twilight Zone but like the town in 'Footloose', it was practically run by the Baptist church, the only Church in town, as a matter of fact.
It wasn't as if the words Gay, lesbian or bisexual were unheard of....it's just that everyone was, or seemed to be hetero. The families or couples that were rumored to be anything else were somehow convinced to leave town. Bands played in the town square during the summer, an old world one cannon was in the middle of the park and had been since forever. Nothing changed here.

That is, until one day when two of it's young female citizens rediscovered each other.

April and Fiona were relaxing in the park one Saturday afternoon. They played around, taking leaves of grass and throwing them at each other, then watched lazily as women walked down the street pushing baby strollers.
"God," April said....."I can't picture myself having a baby and raising it in this damn town....."

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona was back in town for a couple of months after she had moved out of the small town after high school. She needed an escape because of some family secrets that were held close to the chest. No one knew about what went on behind the Goodwin's closed doors. While growing up Fiona wasn't allowed to even tell her best friend about it. No matter how much she wanted too, she couldn't. She knew that word would get back to her father about it as well. The one man she feared the most.

So one day after she had finally finished high school she packed up her bags and left in the dead of night. Her own mother didn't even know what she was planning. She wanted to make a name for herself. She wanted to break free from the home she had grown up in, and she wanted to explore what the world had to offer. She was only nineteen at the time and learning about her own sexuality. While she had been living in New York City making a name for herself as a ballet dancer, she met and fell in love with Monica. The first woman she had ever let into her life in a romantic way.

They were together until she turned twenty-one years old, and that's when shit hit the fan. Monica was cheating on her with their professor. When Fiona found out she was heartbroken. She quit dancing and had spent her final couple of years getting everything squared away to move back home to the town she fought so hard to leave. That's when she realized April was speaking. She young woman turned her attention to April and shrugged a bit. "I mean it's a shitty place to raise a kid, I wouldn't have any kids myself until I'm officially out of here again." She said lightly.

It was her life long dream to get out of this hell for good. She wasn't going to be living here her whole life. She would die before she did that. She looked over at April and cocked her head to the side. "I did miss you while I was in New York though. Our late night talks, sleepovers, gossiping. I'm sorry I never kept in touch while I was gone" she admitted softly. She meant it too. April was her best friend in the whole world, and she had pretty much abandoned her. She was back now though for a couple of months before she went to Hollywood to pursue her dreams of being on broadway.

She fell silent as she turned to watch the people around them, wondering what April had done while she had been away.

 

[Tina Louise2]

For April, the happiest moment of her life was when Fiona returned to town and back in her life.
To say they were the best of friends was an understatement...they were close enough to finish each other's sentences, their families often took vacations together.

When Fiona left it tore a cannonball sized hole in her heart. She understood why Fiona had to leave and wished she had the courage to join her.

All was forgiven when she saw Fiona again...it was as if the years never left. Even though it's been a couple weeks since Fiona's return, April felt they still needed to get ho know each other again.

"I'm so glad to have you back again," she said...April kissed Fiona but unlike a friendly peck on the cheek, this one was right on her friend's lips.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona was slightly taken back when April just leaned in and kissed her. She pulled away quickly and shook her head lightly. "April I can't" she breathed out. Her eyes quickly scanned the area around them and she stood quickly. "I'm sorry" she breathed out. She grabbed her book bag and slipped the strap over her shoulder and rounded the bench and headed back towards the parking lot.

She couldn't believe that happened. In public too. She was all of a sudden confused. What had gotten into the other woman? Was she really that stupid? Doing something like that in public, and knowing damn well the town they lived in! She shook her head lightly as she flipped the flap of her bag open and started digging around in her bag for her keys. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening.

She found her keys and unlocked the door. She didn't care if she didn't see April for a couple of days. The woman didn't even want to talk to her it seemed like. Her head was swimming with confusion. She locked the car doors and started the car up. She looked towards the bench as to where April was still sitting and shook her head again. She wanted to go back and kiss the woman again, but she couldn't. Not in public.

This was her worst nightmare. Yes she was bi-sexual, but everyone in town looked down on that. They all called it a sin. If you were to fall in love with the same gender as yourself you would be shunned. She tore her eyes away from April and looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was behind her, and she backed out of the parking spot and then headed out of town. She had to clear her head, and she couldn't do it in a place she knew that April might show up at.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April sat on her knees, her mouth open in protest and watched Fiona leave. She sat there and cried....how could she have been so stupid?
But she didn't understand herself why she kissed her...it was all.ost automatic, like instinct.

She got up and went to her car, still sobbing. She sat inside for a few minutes to collect herself..she had to go to Fiona and try to explain what just happened, even though she could hardly understand herself.
The sobbing gave way to crying uncontrollably. One wrong move on her part may have doomed their relationship forever. To make matters worse, she had no idea where Fiona left or even if she would return.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona knew it wasn't right that she ran away. But she didn't know what else to do. April just up and kissed her, and in public. She honestly didn't know what the other woman was thinking. She had to admit she had been thinking about doing something like that, but she knew better. She knew not to do something like that in public. In a way she was glad that Monica wasn't in her life any longer due to moving back to this hell hole she called home. She wanted Monica to meet her parents along the way, but deep down she knew she wouldn't.

After about thirty minutes Fiona pulled off to the side of the road and shut the car off. She reach for her phone in her bag and saw that her mother had called her. She sighed lightly as she opened up the voicemail that was waiting for her. "Hi baby, I don't know where you are, but I'm sure you're with April. I just wanted to let you know that your father and I are going out to dinner tonight so whenever you get home we might not be here. We love you sweetheart, and are so glad you're more."

That was all the message was about. She saved the message and leaned back against the seat. She wanted to call April and ask her what the fuck she was thinking, but she knew better than that. She would have to talk to her in person sooner or later. She looked down at the phone in her hands and bit her lip wondering why the woman hadn't even reached out. Did she really hate her that much to not even check? Then again she could also do the same thing and she wasn't. She shut her phone fully off, tossed it onto the seat next to her, and pulled back onto the road. She was just going to drive around until she was ready to go home. For now she needed to gather her thoughts and figure out what she was going to say to the other woman when she saw her again.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April was at wit's end. She knew she fucked up as soon as both her confession of love and the kiss occurred, but sometimes nature does impulsive things. She picked up her phone and started to call Fiona but thought against it....her lifelong best friend was confused, pissed off and she felt if she called she might even drive Fiona away.

Finally after wrestling with her emotions she did complete the call but by then it went straight to voicemail, a sign that Fiona must've turned her phone off.
"Well, she said aloud to herself...."I already messed things up, I can't do any worse...."
She left a note on voicemail.

"Fi.........God I'm sorry for what happened....I mean, no I don't regret what I did cause you had to know how I feel about you, but I guess it was wrong. I need.....oh, fuck it, forget what I need....I mean...."
by then she was crying again. She hung up.

How could she have messed things up so royally? what happened to those corny, mushy Netflix movies where two lovers meet again after a long time passed?......the voice inside her head was quick to answer.

'........you impulsive bitch,' the voice scolded her. 'what did you expect....that she'd run into your waiting arms?'
April drove back home. Still living at home to help defray the high cost of college education, she kept her old bedroom. She pulled up a chair and sat near the window facing across the street and almost directly towards Fiona's. Her parents were off on another of their vacations and the house never felt as lonely as it did right now.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona knew she had no choice but to turn her phone on again. She meant to call her mother and let her know she was back in town, but hadn't yet. She had wanted to surprise April first. She sighed lightly as she leaned her head back against the headrest. She felt at a loss right now. What was she supposed to do? Just let April get away with something like that? Hell no. That's not how she worked. She's changed over the years, and she wasn't the same person she used to be. She's learned how to tell people how she really felt.

She bit her lip lightly as she sat there in silence. After about an hour she reached for her phone and powered it back up. When it was back one she noticed the little voicemail icon blinking. Had her mother called her? When she started to listen to the message, she knew it was April. She shook her slightly and her finger hovered over the delete button. She groaned lightly as she exited out of the voicemail all together. She then sent a message to her parents letting them know she was back in town.

It wasn't long before they were blowing her phone up asking where she was staying, when she had gotten in, and why she hadn't gotten a hold of them sooner. A small smile passed over her lips as she read the messages that kept on coming. She told them she had gotten into town that morning, and she had an apartment already set up for herself that she was just going to move the little bit of items she had in, and let them know she had been with April. They were so glad she was home. Fiona was happy to be home too. This was her home after all. As they sent messages back and forth a bit longer a shiver ran down her spine.

It was getting colder the longer she stayed here. She then found out that her parents weren't even in town and laughed softly. Of course they weren't. They were off on some trip after all. She then opened up the messages she had with April and sent her a message. 'I'm heading home. No not to my parents before you head over there.' and that's all she said. She wasn't ready to speak to the woman yet. She wanted too, but she was scared too. She knew if she did she would end up saying something she would regret. She then went to her locations and stopped sharing her location with April.

She only shared the location while driving here, but now that she's in town, she's not ready for April just to show up on her doorstep. She wasn't going to tell April where she lived yet. She felt slightly betrayed with this whole matter. When she was ready to speak to April, she would let her know. For now she needed her space, and texting her every once in a while was enough for her for the time being.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April just sat on the side of her bed, staring out the window. She had been crying almost the entire time she drove back home and now she had no tears left to shed. She felt empty and alone. The damage had been done and in her mind was permanent.
Even if there was a chance for reconciliation later someday, their lives would never be the same.
Although she never used the word 'Love' to Fiona the I'll timed kiss left no doubt of her intentions.

April jumped when she heard the chime from her phone....it was a message from Fiona....finally!
For a minute she hesitated picking it up but she HAD to know what was going on in her friend's head.....she said she was going home but not to her house, making April assume correctly that she must've gotten in apartment. She looked over the message back and forth...there was no directions given, no address....Fiona obviously didn't want her to visit.

April typed in a cursory 'thanks...at least I know your'e ok..." then put away the phone. So may questions have been left unanswered, thanks to her impulsive kiss. Fiona had been gone for quite a while...where did she go? how was she surviving? did she have any relationship while she was out of April's life? for 2 girls that had considered themselves the best of friends, she realized she knew nothing about Fiona's sexuality.....even besties had skeletons in the closet.
It wasn't as if April was an open book herself. In Fiona's absence, she had a short lived relationship with a man. He had money and for a while things were great...but after a while he became progressively more and more possessive, eventually forbidding her to leave his apartment unless he knew where she was going, to whom she would talk to and what time to return.

That was the last straw...she stormed out of the apartment and never spoke to him again.
THat was quite a awhile ago and she never had a relationship since....and then Fiona re entered her life. It never entered her mind that love was involved in their relationship, an spoken equation that would truly seem out of place, but now it was, at least for April.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona looked down at her phone when April messaged her back. She knew she was being a downright bitch, but she didn't care. Right now, she was too worked up to really do anything else. Once she was in her apartment, she kicked off her shoes and walked into the kitchen to find something to eat. She knew that the two of them would need to talk about what happened. Was she ready for that? Was she ready to tell her once best friend everything? She didn't know for sure on how to even approach the subject. She sighed lightly as she opened up a package of ramen and filled up a bowl of water.

She placed the uncooked noodles into the bowl and then placed the bowl into the microwave. She leaned against the counter as she thought about how much fun she had seeing April. Then April had to go and kiss her. She reached up and touched her lips lightly. She wasn't denying the fact that she had liked the kiss, but it was so unexpected that she was at a loss for words and just ran away like a child. The microwave beeped letting her know that her food was done. She pulled it out and took it to the living room. She sat down and turned on the T.V. while she ate.

As she ate she thought about what to say to April and then she grabbed her phone and started typing out a message before she lost the courage she felt.

'Hey, I'm sorry for what happened and the fact I ran away like a child. But you and I do need to talk like adults. Meet me at the coffee shop on main tomorrow morning and we will talk.'

She read the message over a couple of times before finally sending it. She finished off her meal and then grabbed a notebook and started writing down her thoughts and what she wanted to talk with April about in the morning. She just hoped that they would be able to talk things through this and possibly become close again.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April couldn't sleep. She'd be wracking her brain all night, wondering how things had gone so drastically wrong. The two girls had been so close during their formative growing years that they could finish each other's sentences. In later years after Fiona left to pursue a career, April toyed with the idea of following her bestie but thought against it.....they both grew up in this same small town but despite it's victorian attitudes, she often felt almost sheltered by it.
In a way the town protected her against the temptations, faster lifestyle and the leap year electronic advances big cities had to offer.

No, she couldn't blame Fi for wanting to bail out of here but ever since her friend left, April found herself having dreams about her....vivid, almost realistic dreams.....wet dreams. During the day she thought about Fiona often. After the disastrous relationship she had with the last guy, April realized that not only was he not what she really wanted but began to feel that way against men in general.
She realized that she was in love with Fiona....but how to show her?

That's when the kiss occurred.
Her heart had never been as broken as it was right now, yet she loved and wanted Fiona more than ever,
The text message woke her back up to reality.....Fiona wanted to see her in the morning to talk. April saw no sense in responding with a long drawn out message......'I'll be there' was all she typed and hit 'send'.