General RP Shackled hearts.....(Tina and AvidDreamer)

[Tina Louise2]

Ok, raise your hands.....how many of you ever saw those old Andy Griffith black and white TV shows? or the original Footloose movie with Kevin Bacon?
believe it or not, small towns like those not only exsist but religious and social strangleholds still keep them under thumb.

April, 22 and Fiona, 23, had known each other since they were 7 years old. Not only did they both live in the same small town but just across the street from each other. It wasn't a coincidence that they attended the same schools....there was only the one elementary and one high school in the microscopically small town, so they both had the same teachers and later both became cheerleaders starting in their junior year of high school.

The town in question was a microcosm of every small town in America, especially down south in the so-called 'Bible belt'. It's hard to believe that in this day and age, such towns exsist but indeed they do. The town wasn't Victorian or something out of the Twilight Zone but like the town in 'Footloose', it was practically run by the Baptist church, the only Church in town, as a matter of fact.
It wasn't as if the words Gay, lesbian or bisexual were unheard of....it's just that everyone was, or seemed to be hetero. The families or couples that were rumored to be anything else were somehow convinced to leave town. Bands played in the town square during the summer, an old world one cannon was in the middle of the park and had been since forever. Nothing changed here.

That is, until one day when two of it's young female citizens rediscovered each other.

April and Fiona were relaxing in the park one Saturday afternoon. They played around, taking leaves of grass and throwing them at each other, then watched lazily as women walked down the street pushing baby strollers.
"God," April said....."I can't picture myself having a baby and raising it in this damn town....."

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona was back in town for a couple of months after she had moved out of the small town after high school. She needed an escape because of some family secrets that were held close to the chest. No one knew about what went on behind the Goodwin's closed doors. While growing up Fiona wasn't allowed to even tell her best friend about it. No matter how much she wanted too, she couldn't. She knew that word would get back to her father about it as well. The one man she feared the most.

So one day after she had finally finished high school she packed up her bags and left in the dead of night. Her own mother didn't even know what she was planning. She wanted to make a name for herself. She wanted to break free from the home she had grown up in, and she wanted to explore what the world had to offer. She was only nineteen at the time and learning about her own sexuality. While she had been living in New York City making a name for herself as a ballet dancer, she met and fell in love with Monica. The first woman she had ever let into her life in a romantic way.

They were together until she turned twenty-one years old, and that's when shit hit the fan. Monica was cheating on her with their professor. When Fiona found out she was heartbroken. She quit dancing and had spent her final couple of years getting everything squared away to move back home to the town she fought so hard to leave. That's when she realized April was speaking. She young woman turned her attention to April and shrugged a bit. "I mean it's a shitty place to raise a kid, I wouldn't have any kids myself until I'm officially out of here again." She said lightly.

It was her life long dream to get out of this hell for good. She wasn't going to be living here her whole life. She would die before she did that. She looked over at April and cocked her head to the side. "I did miss you while I was in New York though. Our late night talks, sleepovers, gossiping. I'm sorry I never kept in touch while I was gone" she admitted softly. She meant it too. April was her best friend in the whole world, and she had pretty much abandoned her. She was back now though for a couple of months before she went to Hollywood to pursue her dreams of being on broadway.

She fell silent as she turned to watch the people around them, wondering what April had done while she had been away.

 

[Tina Louise2]

For April, the happiest moment of her life was when Fiona returned to town and back in her life.
To say they were the best of friends was an understatement...they were close enough to finish each other's sentences, their families often took vacations together.

When Fiona left it tore a cannonball sized hole in her heart. She understood why Fiona had to leave and wished she had the courage to join her.

All was forgiven when she saw Fiona again...it was as if the years never left. Even though it's been a couple weeks since Fiona's return, April felt they still needed to get ho know each other again.

"I'm so glad to have you back again," she said...April kissed Fiona but unlike a friendly peck on the cheek, this one was right on her friend's lips.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona was slightly taken back when April just leaned in and kissed her. She pulled away quickly and shook her head lightly. "April I can't" she breathed out. Her eyes quickly scanned the area around them and she stood quickly. "I'm sorry" she breathed out. She grabbed her book bag and slipped the strap over her shoulder and rounded the bench and headed back towards the parking lot.

She couldn't believe that happened. In public too. She was all of a sudden confused. What had gotten into the other woman? Was she really that stupid? Doing something like that in public, and knowing damn well the town they lived in! She shook her head lightly as she flipped the flap of her bag open and started digging around in her bag for her keys. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening.

She found her keys and unlocked the door. She didn't care if she didn't see April for a couple of days. The woman didn't even want to talk to her it seemed like. Her head was swimming with confusion. She locked the car doors and started the car up. She looked towards the bench as to where April was still sitting and shook her head again. She wanted to go back and kiss the woman again, but she couldn't. Not in public.

This was her worst nightmare. Yes she was bi-sexual, but everyone in town looked down on that. They all called it a sin. If you were to fall in love with the same gender as yourself you would be shunned. She tore her eyes away from April and looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was behind her, and she backed out of the parking spot and then headed out of town. She had to clear her head, and she couldn't do it in a place she knew that April might show up at.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April sat on her knees, her mouth open in protest and watched Fiona leave. She sat there and cried....how could she have been so stupid?
But she didn't understand herself why she kissed her...it was all.ost automatic, like instinct.

She got up and went to her car, still sobbing. She sat inside for a few minutes to collect herself..she had to go to Fiona and try to explain what just happened, even though she could hardly understand herself.
The sobbing gave way to crying uncontrollably. One wrong move on her part may have doomed their relationship forever. To make matters worse, she had no idea where Fiona left or even if she would return.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona knew it wasn't right that she ran away. But she didn't know what else to do. April just up and kissed her, and in public. She honestly didn't know what the other woman was thinking. She had to admit she had been thinking about doing something like that, but she knew better. She knew not to do something like that in public. In a way she was glad that Monica wasn't in her life any longer due to moving back to this hell hole she called home. She wanted Monica to meet her parents along the way, but deep down she knew she wouldn't.

After about thirty minutes Fiona pulled off to the side of the road and shut the car off. She reach for her phone in her bag and saw that her mother had called her. She sighed lightly as she opened up the voicemail that was waiting for her. "Hi baby, I don't know where you are, but I'm sure you're with April. I just wanted to let you know that your father and I are going out to dinner tonight so whenever you get home we might not be here. We love you sweetheart, and are so glad you're more."

That was all the message was about. She saved the message and leaned back against the seat. She wanted to call April and ask her what the fuck she was thinking, but she knew better than that. She would have to talk to her in person sooner or later. She looked down at the phone in her hands and bit her lip wondering why the woman hadn't even reached out. Did she really hate her that much to not even check? Then again she could also do the same thing and she wasn't. She shut her phone fully off, tossed it onto the seat next to her, and pulled back onto the road. She was just going to drive around until she was ready to go home. For now she needed to gather her thoughts and figure out what she was going to say to the other woman when she saw her again.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April was at wit's end. She knew she fucked up as soon as both her confession of love and the kiss occurred, but sometimes nature does impulsive things. She picked up her phone and started to call Fiona but thought against it....her lifelong best friend was confused, pissed off and she felt if she called she might even drive Fiona away.

Finally after wrestling with her emotions she did complete the call but by then it went straight to voicemail, a sign that Fiona must've turned her phone off.
"Well, she said aloud to herself...."I already messed things up, I can't do any worse...."
She left a note on voicemail.

"Fi.........God I'm sorry for what happened....I mean, no I don't regret what I did cause you had to know how I feel about you, but I guess it was wrong. I need.....oh, fuck it, forget what I need....I mean...."
by then she was crying again. She hung up.

How could she have messed things up so royally? what happened to those corny, mushy Netflix movies where two lovers meet again after a long time passed?......the voice inside her head was quick to answer.

'........you impulsive bitch,' the voice scolded her. 'what did you expect....that she'd run into your waiting arms?'
April drove back home. Still living at home to help defray the high cost of college education, she kept her old bedroom. She pulled up a chair and sat near the window facing across the street and almost directly towards Fiona's. Her parents were off on another of their vacations and the house never felt as lonely as it did right now.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona knew she had no choice but to turn her phone on again. She meant to call her mother and let her know she was back in town, but hadn't yet. She had wanted to surprise April first. She sighed lightly as she leaned her head back against the headrest. She felt at a loss right now. What was she supposed to do? Just let April get away with something like that? Hell no. That's not how she worked. She's changed over the years, and she wasn't the same person she used to be. She's learned how to tell people how she really felt.

She bit her lip lightly as she sat there in silence. After about an hour she reached for her phone and powered it back up. When it was back one she noticed the little voicemail icon blinking. Had her mother called her? When she started to listen to the message, she knew it was April. She shook her slightly and her finger hovered over the delete button. She groaned lightly as she exited out of the voicemail all together. She then sent a message to her parents letting them know she was back in town.

It wasn't long before they were blowing her phone up asking where she was staying, when she had gotten in, and why she hadn't gotten a hold of them sooner. A small smile passed over her lips as she read the messages that kept on coming. She told them she had gotten into town that morning, and she had an apartment already set up for herself that she was just going to move the little bit of items she had in, and let them know she had been with April. They were so glad she was home. Fiona was happy to be home too. This was her home after all. As they sent messages back and forth a bit longer a shiver ran down her spine.

It was getting colder the longer she stayed here. She then found out that her parents weren't even in town and laughed softly. Of course they weren't. They were off on some trip after all. She then opened up the messages she had with April and sent her a message. 'I'm heading home. No not to my parents before you head over there.' and that's all she said. She wasn't ready to speak to the woman yet. She wanted too, but she was scared too. She knew if she did she would end up saying something she would regret. She then went to her locations and stopped sharing her location with April.

She only shared the location while driving here, but now that she's in town, she's not ready for April just to show up on her doorstep. She wasn't going to tell April where she lived yet. She felt slightly betrayed with this whole matter. When she was ready to speak to April, she would let her know. For now she needed her space, and texting her every once in a while was enough for her for the time being.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April just sat on the side of her bed, staring out the window. She had been crying almost the entire time she drove back home and now she had no tears left to shed. She felt empty and alone. The damage had been done and in her mind was permanent.
Even if there was a chance for reconciliation later someday, their lives would never be the same.
Although she never used the word 'Love' to Fiona the I'll timed kiss left no doubt of her intentions.

April jumped when she heard the chime from her phone....it was a message from Fiona....finally!
For a minute she hesitated picking it up but she HAD to know what was going on in her friend's head.....she said she was going home but not to her house, making April assume correctly that she must've gotten in apartment. She looked over the message back and forth...there was no directions given, no address....Fiona obviously didn't want her to visit.

April typed in a cursory 'thanks...at least I know your'e ok..." then put away the phone. So may questions have been left unanswered, thanks to her impulsive kiss. Fiona had been gone for quite a while...where did she go? how was she surviving? did she have any relationship while she was out of April's life? for 2 girls that had considered themselves the best of friends, she realized she knew nothing about Fiona's sexuality.....even besties had skeletons in the closet.
It wasn't as if April was an open book herself. In Fiona's absence, she had a short lived relationship with a man. He had money and for a while things were great...but after a while he became progressively more and more possessive, eventually forbidding her to leave his apartment unless he knew where she was going, to whom she would talk to and what time to return.

That was the last straw...she stormed out of the apartment and never spoke to him again.
THat was quite a awhile ago and she never had a relationship since....and then Fiona re entered her life. It never entered her mind that love was involved in their relationship, an spoken equation that would truly seem out of place, but now it was, at least for April.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona looked down at her phone when April messaged her back. She knew she was being a downright bitch, but she didn't care. Right now, she was too worked up to really do anything else. Once she was in her apartment, she kicked off her shoes and walked into the kitchen to find something to eat. She knew that the two of them would need to talk about what happened. Was she ready for that? Was she ready to tell her once best friend everything? She didn't know for sure on how to even approach the subject. She sighed lightly as she opened up a package of ramen and filled up a bowl of water.

She placed the uncooked noodles into the bowl and then placed the bowl into the microwave. She leaned against the counter as she thought about how much fun she had seeing April. Then April had to go and kiss her. She reached up and touched her lips lightly. She wasn't denying the fact that she had liked the kiss, but it was so unexpected that she was at a loss for words and just ran away like a child. The microwave beeped letting her know that her food was done. She pulled it out and took it to the living room. She sat down and turned on the T.V. while she ate.

As she ate she thought about what to say to April and then she grabbed her phone and started typing out a message before she lost the courage she felt.

'Hey, I'm sorry for what happened and the fact I ran away like a child. But you and I do need to talk like adults. Meet me at the coffee shop on main tomorrow morning and we will talk.'

She read the message over a couple of times before finally sending it. She finished off her meal and then grabbed a notebook and started writing down her thoughts and what she wanted to talk with April about in the morning. She just hoped that they would be able to talk things through this and possibly become close again.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April couldn't sleep. She'd be wracking her brain all night, wondering how things had gone so drastically wrong. The two girls had been so close during their formative growing years that they could finish each other's sentences. In later years after Fiona left to pursue a career, April toyed with the idea of following her bestie but thought against it.....they both grew up in this same small town but despite it's victorian attitudes, she often felt almost sheltered by it.
In a way the town protected her against the temptations, faster lifestyle and the leap year electronic advances big cities had to offer.

No, she couldn't blame Fi for wanting to bail out of here but ever since her friend left, April found herself having dreams about her....vivid, almost realistic dreams.....wet dreams. During the day she thought about Fiona often. After the disastrous relationship she had with the last guy, April realized that not only was he not what she really wanted but began to feel that way against men in general.
She realized that she was in love with Fiona....but how to show her?

That's when the kiss occurred.
Her heart had never been as broken as it was right now, yet she loved and wanted Fiona more than ever,
The text message woke her back up to reality.....Fiona wanted to see her in the morning to talk. April saw no sense in responding with a long drawn out message......'I'll be there' was all she typed and hit 'send'.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona felt her phone go off and she read the message from April. She chewed on her lower lip lightly wondering what she was even going to say to the woman tomorrow. Was she in the wrong for being so upset? She tried her hardest not to let the kiss bug her, but what really bugged her was the way it happened. April knew if someone in town saw it they both would be in a world of trouble. Living in this town made things so much harder. She didn't know how long she'd be able to even stay here. She wanted nothing more than to make this place her home once more. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but deep down she knew this place couldn't be home. Not anymore. Not with how people looked at homosexuality. She sighed lightly as she stood and got her bowl out of the microwave. She enjoyed her dinner in peace.

The next morning.

Fiona was up before her alarm and she stood under the hot water that was streaming over her body. She was really nervous with how things were going to play out. She was nervous to even see April. What was she going to say to the woman? Was she going to close her out again? She sighed lightly as she tilted her head back, closed her eyes and tried to enjoy her shower. When the water started to turn cold was when she knew she had to get a move on. She shut the water off, climbed out and wrapped herself in a towel. She walked into the bedroom and found a pair of leggings and her red sweater dress. She found her ugg boots as well and set them beside the bed. She dried herself off and pulled the leggings on.

She then pulled the sweater dress over her head and then sat down in the chair in front of her vanity. She applied a little bit of makeup and piled her still wet hair into a bun. When she was finished with that she pulled on her boots and checked her phone. She was still good on time at the moment. She needed to take a shot to help calm her nerves, but she didn't have any alcohol in the house. She made a mental note to stop by the liquor store to get some. She grabbed her wallet, phone, car keys and walked out of her little home. She unlocked her car and slid in behind the wheel. She started it up and headed into town. Her stomach was in knots the whole drive. The coffee shop came into view and she nearly headed towards the freeway.

She stopped herself and pulled into the parking lot. She shut the car off, grabbed her things and went inside. She ordered a pumpkin spice latte and went over to a table in the back. She sipped from the cup as she waited for April to arrive.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April showered and put on just a light touch of perfume, a lavender scent she hoped would work in her favor. She had no idea what to say to Fi but after the previous days train wreck she knew she couldn't make another mistake...Fi was gun shy and on the defensive.

She pulled up and saw Fi in a booth in the back. She walked up obviously nervous and sat across from her.

"Fi....I need to apologize again for the other day. We haven't seen each other for a long time and I had no idea how you'd still feel about me, if you felt anything at all."

She paused long enough to take a couple sips of coffee.
" I'm gonna lay it out for you" she continued. " I've held back my true feelings for you...I've had a lot of dreams about us.... I've fallen in love with you....there, now I said it. You can leave right now if you want but at least you know I've been truthful with you..."

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona's mind was racing as she watched people slowly coming into the coffee shop. That's when she saw April pull up. She watched as the woman ordered her own coffee and made her way over to the table. Fiona took a moment to gather her thoughts and was about to speak with April did. She sat there watching her. Her mouth slowly fell open. She had a feeling something like this was going to happen. She just didn't know to respond at the moment. When April was finished speaking she let the other woman's words hang between them for a little while longer. She then took a breath and tore her eyes away from the woman, and looked down at the tabletop in front of her.

"I appreciate you telling me that, I really do. I just don't know what you want me to say April. I've been comfortable with my sexuality for the longest time and yes I have to hide it now that I'm home. That's one of the reasons why I left for college was to get away from this hell, and to be myself. As for my feelings for you, I don't know what to feel honestly.. I'm scared I guess is the right word for it. If we were to try anything, we wouldn't be able to stay here" she said lightly. She stopped for a moment and slowly looked up at the woman. April was a beautiful girl, but she just didn't know how this would all work.

"Let's just start slow. I understand you have feelings for me, but I'm confused with everything.. Let's just work on being friends" she said softly. She had a feeling it would hurt the other, but right now she had to watch what she even says until they are behind closed doors, and then maybe they can talk freely.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April nodded...it wasn't exactly a defeat but not a win either. She had to get fi alone, away from the prying eyes and tongue wagging of the town. It was so old fashioned it was down right victorian.
Simple hand holding between same sex couples could have very unpleasant consequences.

But April wasn't to be satisfied with friendship.
"Look," she said, surprised at her own response. " I'll go and find a hotel at least 10 miles away and off the main highway. I'll get us a room and text you with the information. I agree...too may people know is and our families here...we need a place where we can be free and open with each other..."

April got up and waved back.
In less time than it took to tell about it, April googled up a hotel, reserved a room and sent the info to Fi....'Dew drop motel...about a mile off hwy 45...left turn...room 12...I'll be waiting....

April

Asking to meet at 4pm, April got to the motel an hour early and waited impatiently.... would she show?

April hurriedly changed into something that hopefully would attract both Fiona's mind as well as her eyes

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona couldn't believe she was letting April do this. It wasn't right for them to get a hotel room. Before she could say anything the other woman was out the door. She shook her head lightly wondering how she could get out of this. She didn't want to be alone in an intimate place with the woman, at least not yet. She then felt her phone buzz and she read the message. There it was, the hotel name and number. She sighed lightly wondering if it would be best if she just left town again. She felt like April was moving too fast. She sighed lightly as she looked out the window a bit longer. After a little while longer she finally stood and walked out of the building.

She sighed lightly as she moved to the car and slipped inside. Her fingers were itching to tell April to cancel the room, but she knew the woman had already spent money on it. What would the harm be if they just talked? It wasn't like they were going to hook up right? At least she hoped that's not what April was wanting. She herself had just come home, and she wanted to enjoy the time with her best friend, but it was like April had other plans. She sighed lightly as she looked at the time. She knew she would be late if she didn't get a move on. She pulled out of the parking lot and stopped at the gas station to fill up her tank, and to get snacks for the two girls. As she browsed the snacks she thought she heard her name and she looked up spotting Rachel. She smiled sheepishly at the woman and nodded.

She hurried and grabbed some snacks and went to check out. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone else right now. Once she paid she was tucked safely back in her car. She pulled out of the parking lot and headed to the hotel April was at. Once she was in the parking lot she shut the car off, grabbed the bags and climbed out. She walked towards the room slowly, her eyes darting around her. What if someone saw her? She bit the inside of her cheek lightly as she found room 12. She knocked on the door, and when she was let in she closed and locked the door behind her.

When she turned around she saw what April was wearing and she shook her head lightly. "I'm only here to talk April. That's not. I'm not planning on staying for long. You didn't need to get a hotel room, we could have gone for a drive and met up somewhere" she said lightly. She wasn't going to lie, April looked good though. She kept that thought to herself though. Right now they needed to talk, and that was it. She held up the bags in a peace offering. "Snacks?" she asked lightly as she walked over to a chair and sat down.

 

[Tina Louise2]

Rachel sat cross legged in a chair beside the bed. It seemed that nothing she did was right with Fi. Even dressing up as provocative as possible was, at best, a long shot.....maybe, just maybe her friend might take the bait and something might happen.
Her heart was racing as the minutes ticked by, her breathing was becoming so rapid she thought she might hyperventilate....God, that's all she needed was to pass out and be found on the hotel room floor.

FInally There's was a knock on the hotel room door.
"Come in," Rachel called out.....Fiona was carrying a couple bags which could only mean two things....either Fi planned to stay the night or the upcoming conversation was destined to take much longer than Rachel had hoped.

"Sit down," Rachel said, waving towards the only other chair in the room. It was one of those 'No tell Hotels', the kind of which should've been rented by the hour instead of the night.
"I know this seems like some kind of a trap," she began---and judging by the way Rachel looked, who could blame Fi for thinking the same?---"But I just couldn't take the chance of someone we knew spotting us together in a park....of all people, you know how quick rumors hit the fan and tails start wagging."

Rachel re crossed her legs, making sure her skirt rose 'accidently' enough to reveal just a hint of pink silk panties.
"THanks for bringing some munchies," she added, rifling Through the bag.

Rachel had brought something as well. She handed Fiona a glass as she poured a bottle of slightly chilled red wine then poured one for herself.
"Your'e right," she said...."We do need to talk. I'm sorry I've been so forward with you, but I always been told that if you want something bad enough you don't sit on your ass and wait for it to happen....but I also am aware that I've made nothing but mistakes with you lately....."

Rachel got up and went to the window, her back to Fiona.
"I'm not going to take back or regret what I've already said to you.....I do honestly love you and to hell with the dangers....."

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona kept her eyes trained away from April. She's doing the same thing her ex always did with her. Trying her hardest to make her look at her, or to get her into bed. That wasn't what Fiona wanted though. She wanted to get back in touch with her best friend. She didn't want what happened between them to be awkward like it already felt like it was. She chewed on her lip lightly as she heard the other going through the bag. That's when a glass was offered to her as well. She took the glass and wrapped her fingers around it, before looking into it. She didn't know what to say. April was a beautiful woman, but was she ready for that mess?

She chewed the inside of her cheek before she lifted the glass to her lips and took a sip. She then lowered the glass and locked eyes with the woman before her. "I know what you said was true. But did you ever stop to think that's something I'm ready for? I've only been back in town for a couple of days, and you kissed me... You didn't even think about what it would do to me..." she paused as she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She wasn't trying to make things more difficult but she was scared. What if word got back to her parents? They would make her leave again. That's not what she wanted.

"I know people tend to talk about shit like this, but April.. I don't want to hide my sexuality anymore. We can't do this. We really can't. If you really loved me like you said you did, then you'd stop and think about what this would do to the both of us. Both of our families would disown us, and drive us out of town. We can't afford that right now, and I sure as hell do not want to keep my partner a secret either" she said. She then lifted the glass to her lips once more and took another sip of the wine. Wine wasn't her first choice, but it was better than nothing.

She then looked back towards the woman before her. "Even if we were to make things work, we'd be living in secret and that's not what I want." she breathed. In all honesty she wanted to break the norm. She wanted to scream to the world that she was in love with a woman. But was she in love with April? She didn't know the woman anymore. How can she be in love with someone she barely knows anymore? She took a breath and started speaking again "Even if we did, we would have to start from the ground up. Getting to know each other again. It's been years since we have seen each other, and we barely know each other" she said lightly. She let her words hang in the air between them as she waited to see what the other would say.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April heard every word, tears in her eyes and was glad she was still with her back to Fi...she didn't have the courage to face the woman she knew she loved.

But Fiona was right...the town was a microcosm of Mayberry, the old Andy Griffith tv show. The more tongues that waved, the more damage could be done. Like it or not, April would have to tone down her feelings.

She slowly turned around, tears still in her eyes.
"you're right," she sobbed. "we---I have to hide the way I feel for you, no matter how much it hurts to do so. But you know how much I love you and between us my feelings will never change..."

She took another sip of wine.
"Look...if that's how you want to play this, then fine...we can start over as friends.... But...can't we at least hold hands ?"

April.knew they would have to move out of town if they wanted to be together, but would Fiona agree to make such a drastic move?

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona watched as April finally turned towards her. Seeing the pain in the other's eyes broke her heart. What else was she supposed to do? She couldn't be running around like April. She had just barely moved back. When the woman agreed to starting over as being friends it made her heart leap in her chest. "We can't even hold hands April.. That's how bad this fucking town is. Considering those same sex couples either get run out of town or have to see other in secret." she said softly. She remembered a time when they had been younger and they could hold hands, but now days that wasn't possible.

"I mean we could always link arms and that's about it. But any other sort of physical touch that would look anything like being a couple can not happen." she breathed out. Even though she knew April's true feelings, she couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to touch the woman's skin. She shoved that thought aside as she lifted her glass to her lips once more and took another sip. The liquid danced on her tongue as she let her words hang in the air between them a moment longer. She swallowed the wine and then looked towards April "I just moved back, and I can't do anything to jeopardize that" she pleaded.

She knew it was going to be hard on April, because of how hard she would fall for someone. She didn't want to hurt the woman, but she was trying to protect them from getting the lashing they would both get in public if they were to be seen acting like a couple.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April knew Fiona was right but HOW long would she be able to hide her true feelings? to walk in town so close to each other, knowing how badly she wanted Fi.....to take her around a corner and kiss those lovely moist lips, to run fingers through her hair.....there was a park on the edge of town with a gently running stream and tall lush green reeds but even those wouldn't provide sufficient privacy. Damn....WHY did that town have to be so provencial?

"I'll link arms with you," April said, not bothering to conceal her sadness. Even though it did seem that Fi might be interested in her, April's would be lover was genuinely concerned with potential problems.

I'll tell you what," April said as she sat near Fi. "Since I already paid for the room, we might as well enjoy it. I know you feel that hotel rooms are places that only hookers or low life's use, but I'm neither of those and you aren't either. It's warm, why don't we go outside and walk around the parking lot or near the road....at least here we can hold hands without fear of being seen. After that, we could go back to the room and sit together on the bed and watch Netflix.....Fi darling, I'm really trying, the least you could do is meet me halfway....I really do love you...."

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona knew this wouldn't work if they stayed in town. She wanted nothing more than to explore things with the woman. She just didn't want to be looked down upon. She didn't want her parents to disown her either. That would be the day her whole world would shatter. She knew she would have April with her, but what would life be like if she couldn't have her parents in her life? Those were things that really scared her. She realized she was getting lost in her thoughts when April spoke about the room. Her heart sank a bit as she looked around the room.

She felt like she was being suffocated. She didn't want to be behind closed doors for long at all. She bit the inside of her cheek and nodded a bit. "A walk sounds nice." she said as she downed the rest of the wine. She was on edge and she hated it. She didn't like what was happening, and having to hide right now. She stood and walked towards the door and opened it slowly. "I'm trying too April." she said lightly. She let the words hang between them as she stepped out the door wrapping her arms around herself as she did. She stood there and waited for April to join her.

She felt like April didn't fully understand what was going on. Yes April said she was in love with her, but was she in love with April? That's something she would need to figure out, and she couldn't be rushed. "Listen, I know you said you loved me, but I'm not there yet April. I just got you back and I honestly don't know what to do, or what to think about this right now. I just need a couple of days to wrap my head around it" she said lightly as they walked past the parking lot slowly.

 

[Tina Louise2]

It was early evening. The stars hadn't yet awakened and the sky was a mixture of point and orange, as if a painter captured a perfect moment.
For April, this also was a perfect moment....she gently took Fi's hand as they left the hotel room and slowly began a leisurely walk. While Fi looked just perfect, April appeared slightly out of place....the form fitting, metallic-like glittery dress made her look like a princess.

The evening air made her nipples even more perky than natural and impossible to conceal them under the dress.

"Yes," April said as they walked together, relaxed knowing no one was watching them. "You did just get me back, and I have no intention of letting you go again....where you go, I want to follow. I'm sorry for being so forward, and I want to do something about it.....I want this relationship to develop into something wonderful for both of us....hopefully if what I feel is mutual, we could discuss our roles.....I could stay dominant or submissive, whatever you want....."

April fell silent afterwards and they continued to walk slowly, hand in hand, arm slightly swaying back and forth. April kept looking over at Fiona.....this was the girl of her dreams, her fantasy Goddess. She silently vowed that nothing and no one would tear them apart....not the town with all it's malicious gossip or their parents. If-----another IF---Fi would eventually fall for her as she had for Fi, there was nothing to keep them from leaving the town and starting a new life on their own.

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona unwrapped one of her arms from around herself and let April take it. The moment their skin touched a small shiver ran down Fiona's spine. It felt right to have her fingers wrapped around April's. She took a small bold move on her part and laced their fingers together. That felt even more right. As April spoke about what their roles would be, she stopped dead in her tracks and shook her head. "That might be your thing, but being a dominant or submissive is not something that works for me. It's 50/50 or if the other is struggling then it's 80/20. None of that dominant or submissive shit will ever be in my relationship" she said lightly. She was shocked that April would even dream of something like that.

Fiona didn't want that kind of relationship at all. It was a partnership in her eyes. Yes things would be different in the bedroom, but even then it's something that's supposed to be enjoyed by both people and not just one. She chewed on her lip lightly as she dropped April's hand. "I'm sorry, but this is just too much right now. Talking about who would be dominant, and submissive is not right" she said lightly. She then turned her eyes towards the sky and watched as the stars slowly started to come to live above them. They didn't have a care in the world. They just had to look beautiful.

She sighed lightly as she shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans so April couldn't take her hand again. The silence washed over them as she tried to wrap her head around everything. Would this really work? Could she manage to pick up her life again and move? That's something she would need to really think about when the time came. Right now she was content just talking and spending time with April.

 

[Tina Louise2]

As they walked April realized almost as soon as she spoke that she had made yet another mistake and knew she must cover her ass quickly.
"I'm sorry," she said....."I made a mistake....there doesn't have to be a dominant or submissive in a relationship...please forgive me...."

She gently pulled out the hand she had been holding now dug deep in Fiona's pocket and held it again.
"Can we just please enjoy what we have? the beautiful night, the stars.....and each other...."

By now April realized that Fi wasn't the same girl that she knew before. She seemed almost gun shy and apprehensive to the point of being guarded. If there was any chance of a relationship April knew she had to do two things.....stop making so many damn mistakes and make Fi feel more comfortable with her.

They paused and April gazed at Fiona.
"You really are beautiful you know," she whispered...."The most beautiful, the most desirable girl I've ever met...."

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona saw April going to take her hand again, and she took a step back and kept her hands in her pockets. "Please don't touch me right now.. Like I said right now it's too much" she said lightly. She knew she was hurting the woman before her, but with April pretty much pushing her to do something she's not comfortable with at the moment wasn't helping. "I'm sorry I snapped.. I just need to really think about all of this April. So please understand I'm not doing this to hurt you. I'm really not." she begged. She meant it too. She wasn't doing it to hurt the woman at all. She just needed time.

The first time that April had taken her hand she was fine with. Right now she's on edge and wanting to just flee from this. She felt a blush come to her cheeks as April said how beautiful she was, and she shook her head lightly. "I'm really not.. But thank you. You're beautiful yourself" she breathed out. She meant it too. If things were different right now, she knew she would have already had April's clothes off and they would be behind the locked door in the bed exploring each other's bodies. Even though she knew they were so far away from town, she was still on edge wondering if anyone would just randomly pop up.

She wanted things to work with the two of them, she really did. She just didn't want to just jump into anything. Her head was slightly fuzzy with the wine. The cool air seemed to cool her hot skin. She kept her hands in her pockets as she turned her eyes away from the hurt look on April's face. She was slowly starting to hate herself for all of this. If only she had stayed away, written to April and asked her to come out to New York, maybe then they wouldn't be dealing with this right now.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April was finally starting to see the handwriting on the wall.....it was obvious that Fiona didn't want her to take her hand so she stopped trying, putting her own arms at her side. They walked for a while longer until April sighed.
"I think k it's time we went back to the hotel room," she said.

Once back inside, April packed everything back in Fiona's bag. Any further discussion would not only be pointless but with April's track record so far, would only lead to more pain.
She escorted Fi back her car and got ready to climb into her own.

"Look," she said...."I don'tknow if we made any progress but I'm making too many mistakes with you. I love you Fi with all my heart....maybe tomorrow we can start out fresh, maybe go to the mall.....I want to kiss you good night but I don't want to irritate you further.....call me tomorrow if your'e interested in the mall?"

Their cars were parked next to each other. As April turned on her engine she rolled down her window.
"You know," she said...."I realize what a mistake I made by not following you back east....but I pray you don't compound our situation by not trusting me enough to know the one that loves you would do anything to make you happy.....call me?"

 

[AvidDreamer]

Fiona's blood boiled a bit. She wasn't irritated, she was scared that's a difference. She shrugged slightly as they went back to the hotel room. She packed up her things and let April have the snacks. She wasn't in the mood to eat anything at the moment. She didn't say anything as they went out to their cars. She didn't know what April was going to do with losing out on the money she had paid for the room. That's something she didn't need to worry about because that's not her problem. She unlocked the car door and turned to lean against the door.

"I wasn't irritated until you said I was.. Please don't assume I'm something when I'm not." she said lightly. She listened as the woman told her she loved her. It wasn't love, at least not for her it was. At least not yet. She nodded lightly as she turned and opened the backdoor of her car and threw her bags into the back. "I'm down for going to the mall. I'll meet you there around noon?" she asked. She didn't wait for a reply as she opened the drivers side door and slipped into the car. She shut the door before she could hear what April had finished saying. She started the car and backed out of the parking spot and headed towards the freeway. She felt tears stinging her eyes as she tried to figure everything out.

Maybe getting home and taking a long hot shower would help clear her mind. It was times like this she wished she could call her mom and talk with her about what was going on. If only her mother knew that her daughter was a lesbian. She sighed as she reached up and brushed a stray tear from her eyes as she turned on 3 Doors Down and tried to drown out her thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day.

Fiona made sure she had everything she needed. Her phone was fully charged, her credit card was paid off and she was felling a lot better than she did the night before. She pulled her phone out and sent April a quick text. Good morning~ I'm on my way to the mall right now. Meet me outside the food court and we can get our shopping on! she read it over a couple of times before she hit sent. It was 11:30am and she had told April she would meet up with her at noon. She wasn't one to be late for things like this either. She took a breath as she walked out of her apartment and locked the door behind her. There was a small bounce in her step as well. Yesterday had been rough on her. She knew that April was only trying to lay her feelings out into the open and she had to understand that.

While she had been taking a hot shower last night she thought back to what April had said. Did she really mean it? Today was going to test that theory. She needed to not let her fears of what anyone in town would think. She knew she wanted to keep April in her life for sure. While she had been in the shower she started touching herself and she had gotten so wrapped up in the feeling she had screamed out April's name when she came. Thinking about that now made the woman blush like mad. Was she getting feelings for the woman? She didn't know for sure. All she knew was, she was going to look forward to a fun day of shopping with her best friend.

She walked out to her car, slid behind the wheel and headed to the mall. She rolled the windows down as she drove feeling like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She was excited to see what today held in store for the two of them. About ten minutes later she was pulling into the mall's parking lot and climbing out of the car. She made sure her wallet and phone were in her pocket before she climbed out and locked the car heading into the mall to wait at the food court for April to arrive.

 

[Tina Louise2]

April couldn't get home fast enough. Once more she messed up, once more she gave Fiona the wrong impression. She found herself wondering why If even bothered with her.

Once in the shower she stood there, letting the spray cascade down her more than ample breasts. She thought about Fi, pictured herself giving her body to the luscious dark haired brunette. Soon, she lowered a finger inside her pussy, pumping away. Minutes later she screamed her lovers name as a toe curling orgasm hit her.

April wanted her...she needed her, desired her more than any girl she had ever known.

The next day April put on her sexist lace bra and panties, a seductive but attractive blouse and skirt and headed for the mall. There, inside the food court was Fiona. She had to hold back an urge to take It's hand in hers.

"fi!," she chirped...." You look adorable... "
They had lunch at Sbarros before heading into the mall. They acted like teen BFF's, giggling and shopping at a half dozen stores before arriving at Victoria Secrets.

The prestigious lingerie store was like a Disneyland for adult girls. April picked out a totally transparent pink lace teddy.
"Fi," she called out...."come with me to the dressing room and tell me what you think...."