Ciaran settles against Gavin, closing his eyes. He presses his face into the other's shoulder, arms slipping around Gavin's neck. "Mmmm. . . Feels good
After the cuddle sesh, Ciaran stays curled up on the couch under a blanket, watching Gavin edit the video. He was quiet for most of it, feeling calm and relaxed in a way he hadn't for a while. He watches as Gavin posts around on social media, hinting with teasers and small videos before publishing the full thing on his OF. "How many followers do you have right now?"
"You will get there babes, people love twinks" he says leaning back and playing the edited version for Ciaran "you were great" he says moving to start cuddling once more, still very much naked, no longer bothered about wearing clothes around Ci
Ciaran shakes his head, "Am not!" He pushes his hand into Gavin's face again, "I'm no one's bitch!" He narrows his eyes at the other, "Stop calling me that."
He froze hearing this. Fuck, he fucked up didn't he? "I..um.." he just gets up, going to his room and locking the door behind him, collapsing to the floor as his body shook
"I can't believe I told him that. I can't believe he reacted like that!" He shouts to himself and bangs his fist into the floor, upset at himself and Ciaran
Ciaran hears Gavin's shouts and pulls his knees up, fidgeting. Why had he reacted like that? What would be so wrong. . . No, he couldn't. It was just supposed to be sex. Sex for the money to pay back their debts.
He couldn't be with Gavin. His father would freak out, and probably disown Ciaran entirely. He couldn't loose his family. But Gavin. . .
Ciaran presses a hand to his face, sucking in a deep breath. He looks down at his hands fidgetting still as his thoughts fly faster than he can comprehend. After a few minuets, he stands, dragging himself towards Gavin's room, "Gav. . ."
Ciaran stares at him, "I. . ." He looks down after a moment, unable to look at his friend, pushing his toe into the floor. "We can't. . . I thought. . . we agreed just sex-- I. . ."
He looks away "I think we both knew that wasn't going to last. I wanted to leave feelings behind but..." he trails off afraid to say those 3 words again
Ciaran squeezes his eyes shut, "I can't. . ." He whispers, "But. . ." He looks up, eyes wide. "I can't loose you either, you're the only one who knows me."
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