Book/Media RP The Tyrant’s Poisonous Flower (Solaris)

[FaeWhisperer]

It was only when Yanwen had begun to speak, did Zixin begin to pick up the gravity of the situation. He had become too aware of his own state, and he somehow felt ashamed in all of this. “You—but…that— wasn’t a dream?” He asked when the smoke began to fade from his room so did he begin to come to his senses. He reached out to touch her clothes, his hands gripping the fabric lightly. He had heard her mention about Yue, and he looked down to his lower half. He felt disgusted with the situation at hand, used — and most importantly he felt like a mere fool for thinking that he could have remained friends with her.

When he sat up slightly after Yanwen asked if he required anything, he shook his head. “I’m not even sure I can eat at this moment.” Yanwen would see that he looked especially pale, and Zixin felt sick to his stomach. The pit he felt only grew. He had believed it to be a beautiful dream at first, but now the memory was tarnished with images of Yue, doing exactly what she wanted with Zixin, and Zixin had no say in the matter. He looked to Yanwen, his visage looked to be in pain, more emotionally than physically. “Yanwen—“ he began and grasped her hand with his, touching her fingers and she would be able to note that he was trying to discern if she was real or not. “Please, believe me when I say I— I’m sorry, I am so, so sorry… I had no intentions of—“ he did not want to spend anymore time with any other woman but Yanwen.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. He gave a sharp inhale followed by his exhale as he tried to calm himself down. “Yue,” he began and where his voice once held some ‘affection’ for the name, now was only met with a cold disdain. “I know what she wants. She wants to secure herself as empress consort, especially now when I have made it clear that I only want and care for you,” he looked to Yanwen, his head pounding was beginning to calm but it still felt loud within his ears. Sighing, he looked down at his hand on hers. “I thought her and I could have remained friends— I didn’t want to disgrace her in front of the my entire palace and kingdom, and yet she chooses to disgrace me,” his rage was easily building up. Yes, he had been easily trusting, but now he knew that was a mistake he would hopefully never make again.

But his rage softened as tears filled his eyes, “what am I to do if she becomes with child?” He asked, mostly himself. He knew if Yue did, the child would be innocent in all of this, yet he couldn’t help but feel some sort of hatred for a child that wasn’t even born yet. He knew he would hate the child more if it were to be a son. Even if Yue managed to bear him a son, it didn’t necessarily solidify her place as empress consort, it would have only made her more considered for the position. But with a son…Zixin would be pressured to make Yue his empress, knowing how politics go.

He looked back up to Yanwen, wondering what she was thinking behind those beautiful eyes of hers. He squeezed her hand gently, “Please promise me that you yourself will be careful,” he urged, “I’m not sure what Yue is capable of anymore— beyond what she has done to me..” he swallowed the thick lump he felt in his throat. “If anything happens to you I-“ he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else. His breath had hitched and he had leaned himself forward, resting in her embrace for now. “Promise me,” he urged now, whispering his words against the frame of her neck while he rested there.​

 

[Solaris-]

He held her like he expected her to be a ghost or some figment of his imagination that his ill mind had dreamed up. She'd really done a number on him with this. She stroked along his face with her fingers gently as she looked down at him- allowing him to test her realness for a moment. "I assure you, Zixin, that it is really me this time. And I am not here to take advantage of you." Even just the thought of it disgusted her when he, himself, had told her that their relationship would grow at her own pace. She helped him sit up carefully- urging him to just rest there for a moment. The effects were wearing off slowly, but he didn't need to push himself so hard to fight through them right now.

"As for you being sorry, you have nothing to apologize for. Even if you weren't taken advantage of by her, and the two of you chose to lay together because you both wanted to do so, I would still say this. You are the emperor, and imagining you to only give your time, attentions, and heart to one woman is unheard of. I have been under no delusion that I would not be sharing you with others." It was just simply how it was done, and even if he felt guilty for giving to Yue what he'd not yet given to her, she didn't want him to feel as such. He did, however, feel every right to be betrayed by her actions with how she had gone about it.

Yanwen shifted her weight some- allowing her to sit on the bed closer to him now so that he could rest against her. Fingers curled against his soft, dark tresses as she petted his head slowly. "I do not know what to do if she falls pregnant." It was a quiet admission. Her pregnancy would surely bring some unrest amongst the politicians and other members of his court. He had been emperor for two years now with no child on the way so for there to be one now, it would surely stir some discourse especially with it being known that she was amongst his consorts as well. The apothecary had made it pretty clear she'd not wished to compete against anyone or chase after his affections the way other women might as her love for him wasn't reliant on how much time he spent with her alone. "I know you only wish to be friends with her, but perhaps it would be for the best to keep her on as your consort that way things aren't too suspect. You said it yourself that her bearing you a son does not mean she will earn the title of Empress, but I believe for now, it would be especially prudent to keep her within arm's reach." That woman was dangerous and had proven to be so. If her schemes had done something like this, there was no telling what she could do to either of them at a whim. At least this way, they could keep careful watch on her. It was not lost on her that just a few nights ago, she had mentioned she did not trust Yue, and now she had even less reason to do so.

She looked over at him and the arm that had previously been petting him wrapped tightly around his middle to pull him close to her. If she were crueler and not who she was, she would have laughed at how pathetic he seemed curling into her and begging her to be safe as he was. Yanwen allowed him this moment of vulnerability and offered only comfort of her presence and her warm embrace of him. It reminded her of when they were younger, and she missed when he felt he could fall apart around her without needing to keep up a brave face. "You needn't worry about me, My Love. I worry mostly about you than I ever have myself. But," she sighed quietly against his hair as her cheek now rested against the top of his head. "I will be careful as I do not wish to cause you any pain. Emotional or otherwise."

Once again, her lips pressed against the crown of his head- reassuring in her gestures. "We should get you cleaned up so you can rest properly. If you sit around naked as you are, you'll catch a cold." She let out a quiet laugh against him. "Do you think you have the energy to take a bath? If you need to lean against me, I am here."​

 

[FaeWhisperer]

In truth— Zixin knew deep in his heart that is what he wished to do, to completely and utterly devote every ounce of love and affection he had towards Yanwen. He had wanted and tried to do that for so long, but now that he actually could…hearing her words of saying she had no intention of fighting or vying for his love made his heart falter ever so slightly. He knew that Yanwen was not that kind of woman and definitely wouldn’t have to compete for his love but still-- to hear her say as such made the young emperor worry. And the way she made it sound, well of course it was unheard of, but Zixin was the emperor and he could change the rules to however he saw fit. But of course, that didn’t make it natural. For who would ever had heard of a monogamous emperor?

For now, he took comfort in Yanwen’s presence— the lingering feeling he had experienced earlier slowly being covered up by her calming aura and reassuring words. He closed his eyes briefly but only opened them once she spoke to him about keeping Yue as a consort. He felt as if that wouldn’t be right, considering what she had just done to him. But Yanwen’s further words and her counsel made him rethink the situation. He gave a soft sigh and closed his eyes again. “I shall take your words into consideration…” he murmured out gently.

As Yanwen worried over him, he started to think that perhaps having one consort he favored would not be a good thing anymore. Clearly Yanwen didn’t see that he only had eyes for her— and so the young emperor began to think of a plan. Perhaps having more consorts to ‘spend his time with’ would make Yanwen realize just how precious these moments are between her and Zixin. But he wasn’t really sure if that would be the proper approach, for knowing Yanwen she would probably just praise him for continuing his emperor duties.

It was only when she had asked him if he would like to take a bath- she briefly would see him pause and think of this for a just a moment. He then nodded, sitting more upright and pulling from her warm and comforting embrace. “Have one of the guards fetch one of the palace maids to start a bath then,” he began, wondering if she would take his offer he was about to propose the idea to her shortly, “Would you like them to draw you a bath as well?” He secretly wanted her to join him, but he would figure that would be a space to where they both would be uncomfortable again. Let alone he knew his relationship would take time with Yanwen, despite how terribly slow it was going.

Either way he decided to get up, shifting himself to the side of his bed and standing up. He had pulled whatever robes he had on further, and covered himself up. He didn't want Yanwen to see him in such a vulnerable position, especially without her consent first. But he swayed a little, and sat himself back down. He grimaced lightly, and felt like he had been used -- multiple days without hardly a break in between. Which was true. His body would need time to recover from what Yue had did to him.

Yue on the other hand, was satisfied. She felt smug even, knowing that even if Zixin's affections had been directed solely to Yanwen, she determined herself to be the victor. And, if this failed, she knew of her second plan with Zhan would be able to go through. She would be made empress consort, and was not going to let Yanwen - or any other woman beat her to it.​

 

[Solaris-]

Before all of this, Yanwen had been wondering how to make her return to the palace a special night for them both. She'd truly been excited to see him after a short absence, but seeing him like this now made guilt eat at her as she felt as though it were her fault in some way for leaving as she had even though the rational part of her brain told her that wasn't true or fair to herself. She knew that he wanted to show her every ounce of his affection towards her to make up for the time they’d lost due to her avoidant nature, but she just wanted to be pragmatic. It’d never been heard of that the emperor would share his love with just one person no matter how dear they were to him. Even if he favored her above all the others, she could only give him so many children and she did not want to wear out her body in such a way before she grew old like her parents.

She followed suit- both of her legs now on the side of the bed and barely touching the ground. A bath sounded nice to relax her tired limbs that were sore from sitting for too long- though she certainly didn't want to leave him here alone to do so in her own quarters. She’d missed him too much to want to be apart. "Would you mind sharing your bath with me, Zixin? It would do us both some good to be able to relax a little." He'd not suggested it, but she doubted he would deny her this. Her face burned with embarrassment. Her mind had shifted into clinical mode when she’d seen him as he was now, but bathing together was deeply intimate. "I will be back give me just a moment." Her feet found purchase on the floor and she made her way to the door- slipping out of the room to ask one of the nearby guards to bring them water for the bath, new sheets and blankets, and to find Mei who would know where Yanwen kept her own small supply of pain relievers to bring them to her after all the time she'd spent watching Yanwen work.

When she returned to the room she was followed by a small handful of maids with the items she had requested of them. They filled the tub with the water that filled the room around them with warm steam and a small amount of eucalyptus oil to aid in relaxation. Yanwen took the linens from them and sat them down on one of the ottomans. She would change the sheets when they were finished bathing. There was something about sharing his bed with the remnants of the coerced lovemaking that made her stomach turn ever so slightly- though she made no mention of it. Turning her attention back to Zixin now, she offered him her hand to help him stand once more. He'd been unsteady on his feet, but this wouldn't be the first time that she had helped him keep his balance when he was uneasy on his own.

The maids were dismissed- leaving the two of them alone there once more and she offered him her arm to help him up. “When I was visiting my parents, my father told me of someone who had come there to buy several vials of a substance known to be an aphrodisiac. I had thought of asking you if you knew the man who had purchased it, but I see now where it’s been used.” With her free hand she motioned towards the porcelain cup that still contained the liquid. Yue had likely commissioned this young noble for her schemes no doubt. Their careful steps had led them back towards the now full bath. “Let us just relax for a moment, My Love.”​

 

[FaeWhisperer]

Zixin had been surprised that she had offered to share his bath with him, but he didn't seem opposed to the idea. And so he shook his head, parting his lips to tell her, "No, I do not mind you sharing the bath with me," he told her truthfully. The bath was large enough, he thought to himself -- so they really would not have to be in such close proximity with one another, if they so wished for that. But as she got up and went to fetch a guard for the water, he began to think more of what Yanwen had said earlier. He knew she was just being reasonable as it was unheard of an emperor only having one wife and no further concubines, but he was intent on doing so - no matter how illogical it had seemed.

Steadying himself on his feet with her help, he took careful care to walk towards the stools that were there near the bath, and once sat down he had up until this point listened to what Yanwen had said. Zixin made a face when the aphrodisiac had been mentioned, and somehow knowing that information had made the previous situation worse, unknowingly to Yanwen. For Zixin knew when he had been dedicating his time to Yue, especially when they had been intimate... he'd admit that it wasn't an easy thing for him to complete. So it made sense on why Yue had disguised herself as Yanwen, for her observations had led her to figure out why Zixin had not been interested at all during their times of intimacy. Zixin was just completing his duty and nothing more. Yue too was completing her duty, but she at least figured Zixin would have been into it more, as most men normally would have. Even his 'fondness' of her was nowhere near compared to how Zixin had been treating Yanwen.

As they dressed in towels wrapped around their bodies, Zixin had turned his gaze away from Yanwen when she did so, and he had made sure she would see as little as possible. Yanwen would only be able to glimpse at the way the v shape of his hips had angled down past the top edge of the towel, and any further...things to see or-- thing to see -- she would have to use her imagination for. But perhaps that would be for the best.

He then grabbed a nearby ladle and planned to dip it in the warm water that had been brought in by buckets. It was customary to wash oneself before stepping into the bath, and he had planned to do just that. He handed her the ladle he had picked up, expecting her to wash her own body, as he would never had asked her to wash his--- even if that was her intent, he wasn't going to force her to do something so wildly outside of her comfort zone. He knew this situation would have felt embarrassing for her, so he was trying to make it as easy as he could. Thankfully when they would step into the bath a bit later, they would keep their towels on as it was also customary to do so.

Zixin let out a relaxed sigh as the water soothed his body, and he leaned his head back, closing his eyes. He had not pinned his hair up, for he had also washed it earlier before stepping in, as he wanted to wash away everything he had experienced. His long tresses gently floated in the water around him, and he couldn't help but glance to Yanwen as she settled in the water as well. Even though she had a towel on, he couldn't help but let his eyes wander ever so briefly. His own cheeks would soon flush in embarrassment, feeling as if he shouldn't have been looking. But his resolve made him look at her face now before he spoke, "Yanwen, my love-- I want you to understand that ever since I met you, ever since I began having feelings for you -- I have never wished or wanted another." His voice was sincere and unwavering this time. "Yue only was a part of my court for a year before you came back - and that was because my grandmother thought it was the best course of action to get me out of the depression that I was in." He searched her face briefly before he continued. "And with her, I was only fulfilling my duty. But when I look at you I see more than that, I see a future worth living for, and even if you're only able to provide yourself to me for that future and nothing else, I will gladly be content and love you all the same." Yes, he would love to have a family with Yanwen, but he wanted her to understand that he wouldn't require one -- especially not out of duty. He wasn't sure on how else to explain it. He would love her regardless of however many children she would be able to provide, or even not at all. He in himself had been worried though, feeling like it would take some time to move past what had happened to him, so saying this was sort of a way for his mind to get off of the looming possibility that Yue would have a child in place of Yanwen, and of course to once again try to make it clear to Yanwen that he did not wish for another, and only wished for her.
​

 

[Solaris-]

Yanwen had made sure he was comfortable and seated before she made to remove her own clothes. There was some nervousness that she felt as she undressed herself- hanging her dress from the partition before wrapping her slender body in a towel that was large enough to cover it. For someone who had been all but ready to give herself to him the night they’d confessed their feelings without another thought, it felt strange to be nervous now. The towel wrapped around her stopped mid thigh and showed no more cleavage than any of the dresses he’d given her to wear, but it was still strangely vulnerable to sit there like this with him. She brushed through the small tangles in her hair with her fingers- coming through it gently before it was pinned up to keep it from the nape of her neck.

Where she might have once ogled him in this state of undress before, she didn’t attempt to do so now- keeping her gaze respectful when she turned back towards him. Even after all of this, she loved him immensely and doubted that this incident would change matters much for him. He’d lifted the ladle towards her and she took it from him gingerly before setting to the task of cleaning herself from the sweat and dirt from travel. He might have assumed it would make her uncomfortable to wash him, but she wouldn’t have minded doing so- not even just out of obligation either. She had been the one to ask they share a bath after all, so any discomfort she might have had was left when she’d removed her clothes.

Stepping into the warmth of the bath, she realized just how tired she’d felt. The scent of eucalyptus heavy in the air didn’t help that in the least bit. The towel around her clung to her form as it was dampened by the warm water- though it kept her modesty from him, she knew he could see more than he had before. The silence between the two of them made her feel strange as she had nothing to say, and she didn’t want to narrate her thoughts aloud to bother him with things he didn’t need to worry about now. But he was the one who broke it. Turning her eyes upwards, she was a little startled by his forthrightness towards her. It sounded as though he had wanted her to hear this for quite some time, and she listened. He had been so smitten by her in a way she’d never expected. It made her feel a bit embarrassed to hear him speak about just how much he wanted her to be by his side even if she had nothing to provide but herself.

Yanwen placed herself closer to him now- resting next to him where she could take a gentle hold of his arm with one of hers. Her fingers wrapped around his hand and offered it a reassuring squeeze. “Before I came back, I had always thought my feelings towards you were silly. I tried so hard to keep myself busy to ignore them and ignore how being around you made my heart beat faster.” She brought his hand to her chest where even now she could feel the spike in her pulse. “I thought for sure if you did return my affections, it would just be out of pity or that you would treat me like a charity case because there were so many noble girls that pined for you and wanted your attention that I surely couldn’t compete with them. No matter who you chose to be in your court, it would never be me: a plainly dressed peasant with no political sense or courtly training. Someone who frequently harmed themselves in the name of their profession- doing to myself what no woman would ever think to do to herself because it would tarnish their ideal of beauty.” The scars on her arms were just a part of her now, and if she had the chance to do things over again, she doubted she would change what she had achieved in the name of her craft. Being able to do as she did now with a resistance to what would kill most made her useful, unique in a way she supposed.

“But after we had to return, I grew jaded towards other men. None of them were you and that was their only crime.” None of them had gained her interest or captured her attention as he had. None had bothered to sit with her and talk about her interests or sit through boring lectures to get to know her. “As happy as I am now to be here with you, and knowing that we will progress through this relationship together at our own pace, knowing at some point we will have a family- not out of obligations or royal necessity to further your bloodline, but because that is what we both desire in our future- I can’t help but feel as though things have only gone wrong since that night we’ve made these feelings plain. I can stomach the stares and the whispers knowing that they will be silenced, but what has happened to you is unforgivable. It makes me angry to see you in such a state- not because I am a jealous woman, but because you should have had the choice to refuse her.” As she’d said before, she wouldn’t have minded if they’d laid together in the first place if they’d truly both desired that, but because she had taken advantage of his kindness and trust in this way made her burn with fury in a way that she’d not felt from herself before. It would likely cause a halt to the progress of their own relationship, and the last thing she wanted was for him to flinch away from her touch because Yue had donned her clothes and masqueraded as her for the time she’d been absent.

“Rest assured, my feelings haven’t changed. I still desire you in all ways. I want to be with you for whatever future awaits us.” She lowered her head to rest against his shoulder. “No matter what that future is.” Her words were equally as determined as his own, and she meant what she said.​

 

[FaeWhisperer]

Zixin certainly wasn’t expecting Yanwen to come closer to him, and while she reached for his arm and gently squeezed his hand— he did not pull away. He leaned into her touch even, listening to her words about how she would have never thought she would be here with him right now. He looked towards her face when she spoke, his eyes drifting slowly down her beautiful features and towards her lips while they parted with her words. But his attentions suddenly focused in when she brought his hand to her chest— a soft, shuddering breath left him while he felt Yanwen’s pulse spike as his hand remained there for the time being. But Zixin did not grab, nor did he press his hand more against her. He simply let her keep his hand there for however long she wished, clearly showing the restraint some wouldn’t have had. It was then when she spoke of her appearance, of her previous status, and that he might have treated her like some ‘charity’ case as she put it did he frown lightly, clearly perturbed. But, he appreciated to hear how she felt, for he had earlier spoken on his own feelings. With what she had said, he took his hand that was on her chest and turned it to grasp at her hand gently now. His eyes glanced down at her arms, tracing each scar to the best of his ability.

He looked upwards towards Yanwen’s face once more as she had begun to speak of the men in her village, and he couldn’t help but feel…some relief to know that no one else had caught her attention, and was thankful— if he was being entirely honest. It was only when she mentioned Yue did his gaze darken ever so slightly, and he became a bit reserved but still didn’t draw away from her touch or proximity. When Yanwen firmly told him that what she felt for him hadn’t changed and still wanted to be with him, it was then that Zixin decided to tell her what had transpired for him with Yue while she had been absent.

He let out a soft, long sigh, closing his eyes as he recounted the memory. “It was like a dream at first. It almost did not feel real. But— she— disguised as you, felt…real. And the drug that she gave me, somehow gave this illusion that it was really you. And—and— I thought I gave myself fully to you,” his hand on hers squeezed again. So what he had said would make his earlier apology to her make more sense than it originally did. Zixin continued, “At first I was confused on why you came to me, but telling me that you had to come back because you had missed me, I—“ he opened his eyes, feeling a heat on his cheeks that wasn’t supposed to be there. “I’m embarrassed that I believed that she was you,” but then again, Zixin had not…explored certain parts of Yanwen just yet to become that familiar with her body. And on top of how he had not enjoyed intimacy with Yue before, he hadn’t cared to know what her body felt like underneath his hands, so under the influence one wouldn’t be surprised if he hadn’t caught the difference.

It was only when Yanwen was in such proximity that she would understand that Zixin had not flinched from her touch like she would have believed. The ‘dream’ he had experienced had in fact been very pleasant at first, but once he had come to his senses after she had found him in that state did the images of Yanwen actually turn to that of Yue, and had become unpleasant and vile.

Zixin felt his own heart begin to race, feeling as if he could not have kept it down any longer. “I…hope you understand that if she had not disguised herself as you I —“ he paused, now feeling embarrassed about his performance as a man, or simply because it was Yanwen who had turned him on so. “I would not have…well,” the words he uttered next would have come as a surprise to her — “Finished inside of her,” and of course the rumors of him being infertile were somewhat true, as to Yue’s barren womb. It was because he simply did not finish with Yue, no matter how much Yue had wanted him to. And he knew Yue had caught early on that she simply was not the object of her emperor’s desires.

While he had been explaining himself, he had idly began to drag his fingers across the scars on her arm, now tracing with them instead of his eyes. His touch was light and gentle, tenderly dragging them up and down her skin. He had no intent on furthering his actions, unless Yanwen reciprocated to his touch.

​

 

[Solaris-]

His fingers tracing her scars made her shiver. The only man or person really she'd allowed to touch her arms other than herself was her father that had kept them clean for her when he'd taken note of what she was doing. He had never stopped her as he knew how headstrong his daughter was when it came to things that she wanted to pursue, and it was in the name of further her knowledge even if it hurt her. But she didn't pull away from the gentle touch. They were all healed and she had no intention of doing any more now that she too was as much in the public eye as Zixin. The last thing she wanted was to worry him about her well being.

His words only deepened her guilt that she felt even if she had no reason to feel so. Seeing him guilt-ridden and upset as he was for doing this when he'd not been given a choice in the matter only made hers worse for her. Yue had to resort to this as it seemed intimacy was something that he struggled with- which did not in and of itself bother Yanwen as she was completely inexperienced in this field and felt as though she had no right to speak on it. "I do not fault you for acting as the drug intended you to act. It heightens the senses and the blood flow- allowing for easier arousal to stimuli even if you otherwise would not be. You weren't yourself and she took advantage of you not being able to tell the difference when your mind was in the clouds."

The fingers of her free hand that he was not holding moved up from the water and she pressed her palm gently against his cheek before leaning up to press her lips against his. "I do wish she hadn't used my words against me. I did miss you while I was away. Even if I was only here for a week before my trip home, and we were only apart for two days rather than two years this time, I do appreciate how things have changed and grown between us.” Everything was new to her- even her own feelings were new and being open with them rather than avoiding them was a difficult task. But she was willing to do it as she grew tired of avoiding him when their work would have them both in such close proximity to each other and trying to pretend she felt nothing towards him would be an even bigger ask. “On my way back, I was imagining how to make coming back special for both of us as I’d assumed you would greet me and would be happy to see me. I thought the worst that would happen would be that you would slack off on your paperwork and be buried underneath it by the time I returned.”

Yanwen let out a quiet laugh at the thought. It was such a simple issue to deal with compared to what they were dealing with now. For now, she wanted him to recover, but she still did desire to be close to him. Sleeping alone for her was a daunting task and she would rather not or she knew she might just fall asleep at her own desk buried beneath her thoughts. “To be truthful, I had hoped tonight that we might share more than just warmth and an embrace, but now I don’t think that that would be appropriate.” Not after all of this, and he was likely sore and exhausted after all Yue had done to him. The brunette didn’t want to add to that discomfort no matter how much she desired his touch. “I would still like to stay here with you tonight, but if you want me to go back to my pavilion so you can rest alone, I will respect your wishes.”​

 

[FaeWhisperer]

Zixin wasn't exactly sure on how to explain himself fully -- yes, he had been intimate with Yue, but that had been solely duty alone and nothing more. And that was because of how he felt for Yanwen, for he knew that no other woman could bring him the excitement or the feelings he had for the apothecary. Zixin knew his 'performance issues' had been because of his sheer and utter lack of desire towards any and all who weren't Yanwen. Zixin also knew that picking a consort had been in his control, but as he had mentioned earlier, Yue was gifted to him by his grandmother, and turning away a gift from the grand dowager was something one did not do lightly. That was why he had visited his grandmother earlier, so that she was aware of what Zixin was going to do. Thankfully his grandmother had accepted his feelings for Yanwen, knowing them to be stronger in their relationship and that the hopes of having great children were not lost on her yet.

Listening to Yanwen not fault him for what had transpired relieved a weight off of his shoulders that he did not realize he had. And feeling her gently place her hand on his cheek to kiss him made every worry he had melt away. Zixin leaned into her kiss, reciprocating it well and only moved back when she did. His gaze searched her own, hearing that she had appreciated on how their relationship was blossoming. It in turn made Zixin give a small, yet warm smile to her, moving one of his hands up to cup her own that was on his cheek. He turned his head and kissed her hand lightly before he spoke, “I am happy to hear that my love. And, I know some things between us have been moving quickly, but I assure you that I will be with you every step of the way,” he promised. He didn’t want to share this with anyone else but her. Even as his feelings for her had only deepened over the years, and now were in full swing with her present… he would love her unapologetically so.

Yet on the mention of her wanting to make their return greeting special for the two of them, he couldn’t help his heart from aching ever so slightly. It pained him further to learn that she had hoped to have shared more than just warmth and embrace tonight, even if that wasn’t her intention. But the pain suddenly turned into anger, especially for the woman who had prevented that. Zixin couldn't help but feel like Yue had prevented and ruined such an opportunity. But the anger in his eyes didn’t last as he thought of something— “Do not dwell on it my love, more opportunities for us to share more with one another will present itself in the future,” he spoke although embarrassed from such things mentioned, he looked at her with determination and love in his gaze. "I promise you, this incident has not made my desire towards you waiver --in truth, it has strengthened it, for I wish not to spend another night or two with an illusion, but rather with the real you,” Zixin clearly was pushing and trying to bury his earlier feelings away, the one of disgust, anger and shame. It was Yue who should’ve been the one filled with those emotions. For it was the plain fact that she had to dress up as the one her emperor desired, causing the aphrodisiac she had used to work only because he had seen someone he desired, and not her.

Either way, Zixin was more than happy to have Yanwen rest in his bed once again. He honestly had begun to prefer it, for without her laying there with him his sleep would be filled with nightmares. So he jumped at the opportunity and agreed for her to stay, his arms now reaching for her to pull her closer to him and he leaned in to kiss her for a moment. He had a blush on his cheeks when he realized he had been the one to give first and pulled away slowly, “I—I’d love for you to stay however long you wish. You being by my side for those last two nights has helped my sleep,” he admitted. “I feel warm and comforted, and my dreams are no longer plagued by nightmares.” He told her a bit shyly, wondering what she would think.


​

 

[Solaris-]

The woman felt the opposite in terms of how their relationship progressed. Some things were painfully slow- even the two of them admitting feelings had felt glacial. It was her own fault for this of course, and she knew that. She’d tried to distance herself out of respect for him and it’d backfired on her spectacularly until he had had enough and confronted her. Yanwen wished in that moment that she had more experience in these types of things- not just intimacy, but being open with others as well- as other women did by her age. Him giving her time to process these things, she knew was him being respectful of her wishes, but she didn’t want to keep him waiting on her forever which is why she hadn’t necessarily minded if things moved quicker in some aspects.

The bath had cooled around them and her fingers were starting to prune slightly. She too would like to put the events of the night behind them for a brief moment until they could decide on what actions to pursue. Her other hand had moved to rest against his shoulder as he drew her close to him- not having expected the sudden closeness. Though she didn’t push him away or stop him from kissing her yet again, and rather leaned into it as he had done when she’d kissed him not moments ago. They were pressed close together now, but Yanwen didn’t pull herself away from him just yet- not really wanting to leave his warmth quite yet. “I assure you I am no illusion. And I look forward to the day we can share in that together. But for now, we should get out of the bath. I had a change of sheets brought in, and we can spend the rest of our night as we have the last two nights.” Wrapped up in each other’s warmth and just enjoying simple conversations until they fell asleep for the night. To say it was something she enjoyed would being doing that simple act of intimacy a disservice.

Yanwen allowed herself to kiss him once more before she stood and stepped out of the tub. Gathering the white inner most layer of her robes, she untied the towel from her slender frame to pull it onto herself- not bothered by doing so in front of him. He was free to avert his eyes if he wished, but knew eventually the two would grow accustomed to doing things of this nature.

Her soft footsteps receded and she pulled the sheets from the bed- tossing them into a heap near the door. Evidence of the past few evenings would be washed away by the palace servants later. For now, she put the fresh linen’s onto the bed and sank down onto it. “Zixin, I’d nearly forgotten.” Discovering him as she had had kept her from remembering the letter in one of the pockets of her dress that still hung over the partition. “My father wrote you a letter. If you’d like to read it, it’s in one of my pockets. I haven’t read it so I don’t know what he has said to you.” Though she was sure it was just him being cautiously optimistic for their relationship and well wishes, she wanted to let him know that she didn’t know what it contained with in the careful penmanship. “I hope it raises your spirits some to know that my parents both wish you could visit them in the near future and, but I imagine if you do so they will bother you to no end about when they can expect grandchildren.” That had been a topic that had sidelined her extremely hard even if her mother had just been teasing her.​

 

[FaeWhisperer]

Zixin had expected Yanwen to draw away from him in the moment he had leaned forward and kissed her, but was pleasantly surprised and happy that she did not. Feeling relieved on the assurance that she definitely was real, his heart had skipped a beat in knowing that they would eventually share with each other the pleasure of intimacy. From knowing that alone, he couldn’t deny the soft blush on his cheeks at the very thought. Even as she kissed him once more, he had begun to feel things he probably shouldn’t have given the current situation — knowing that wasn’t her intent. But for now, when she mentioned that they should get out of the bath, he agreed, moving to do so. It was only when she got up and so casually discarded her outer towel did he quickly avert his gaze, out of respect for her. Even though he had definitely thought of those kind of thoughts before, he had felt he should at least offer what respect he could until she gave him direct permission to look at her. One would think for as long as he had been pining over her he would jump at the opportunity to see her undressed fully, but that was not the case for Zixin. He had said before he would be ready whenever she was and he was not going to push her any further to do anything she would be uncomfortable with.

It was only when she was dressed again did he fully look at her, the heat on his cheeks undeniable. He too had finished getting out of the bath, quickly dressing and drying off. When he was drying his hair he heard about the letter and he had glanced over to her. "Your father wrote to me?" he sounded surprised, but then again it had made sense, Zixin did see her father like his own given that his own father had been so terrible as a person when he had been alive. Zixin came over to her and gingerly took the letter out of her hands. He inspected it briefly, a curious look in his eyes. "I shall read it tomorrow morning then," he mentioned and moved to set it down on his nearby desk. Coming back over to Yanwen, he paused briefly when she had said about her parents wanting him to visit them, and about the topic of grandchildren. He couldn't help but give out a soft laugh, shaking his head slightly. "I'm sure they'll look forward to seeing me, but I'll have to disappoint them and say that we'll only have children whenever we're ready to," he then climbed on the bed and moved in to lay beside her. Looking to her with a soft expression, he then reached out and pulled her close into an embrace. "I love you, so much - thank you for coming when you did," he murmured out gently.

And it was then they both were able to find some much needed sleep. They would begin to spend the next few days with one another, and Zixin would hardly make an appearance. Some rumored that he had truly fallen ill, and some others speculated that after Lady Zhao visited that the emperor’s health had taken quite the toll. But now since his other consort had returned, even more rumors began saying that they were trying for an heir this time. Although that was false, any palace maid loved to gossip.

But in the other parts of the palace something else was brewing and it unfortunately wasn’t a child in a womb.​

 

[Solaris-]

Yue

From the moment that the news of the apothecary’s arrival, Yue had felt a bitter pit of jealousy well up within her. In the last year, she’d not had to worry about other women threatening her position as it seemed Zixin had no interest in chasing other consorts. She had thought for sure that her place as Empress Consort was all but decided. She felt no love or compassion towards the man she pretended to fawn over; it was all a means to an end anyway, and as long as she played her part, then she would surely get what she wanted in the end. Even if it disgusted her to do so, she threw herself at Zixin in hopes to produce an heir. These interactions always left her unsatisfied and unfulfilled, and she knew the rumors that spread of her being barren had spread to more than just the other nobles.

Sun Yanwen was a wrench in that plan to get what she desired. If Zixin spent his time around her, then surely the feelings he had towards her would resurface themselves. It was why Yue had attempted to insert herself in their interactions- glaring daggers at the peasant woman and speaking up on his behalf. But she’d only been met with venomous looks from those cold grey eyes and harsh words from Zixin that she should not concern herself with who he decided to give his time to. With her there, he would never keep his eyes only on her, and so she decided that she needed another plan of action than ones she’d already given far too much thought to.

When he’d visited her some few days ago now with that stupid, apologetic look on his face just to tell her how much he loved that stupid peasant girl, Yue had only smiled politely and listened to what he had to tell her. There were words she wanted to say, things she wanted to scream at him for, but it was best to keep her composure. He was still a tyrant, still the emperor, and if he wanted to throw away the year they’d spent together, then perhaps it was a blessing in disguise as now she would have to sneak around far less and wouldn’t have to work so hard to gain Zixin’s attention as she once had.

The night Yue had been seen leaving Zixin’s bed chamber wearing Yanwen’s clothes, she had intended to hurt them both in an equal way to how they had humiliated her. And she had reveled in the looks in their faces as she slinked away back to Zhan’s quarters where she could tell him of the whole ordeal.

Now, it was days later after that night. She had burned the clothes she’d stolen from Yanwen along with the medical supplies she’d left with Zixin still believing the woman didn’t know what she was doing. It disgusted her that Yanwen sought after a profession that should not be a woman’s to deal with and that she cared so little about her appearance that she wore such plain, restrictive clothing. She checked herself daily for signs that she might be getting pregnant- still hoping that this plan would cement her place once more. Though there was no change in her flat stomach no matter how many times she’d checked the mirror, and she was growing fearful that the rumors might actually be true at this point.

[[I’m going to leave this really super open ended for you, but I hope this is okay <3]]​

 

[FaeWhisperer]

Zhan

While Yanwen and Zixin were left sharing their alone time, located near the rear palace was the living quarters of Zhan, Zixin’s younger brother. Second born - second to everything. The beloved prince was just that, beloved by his subjects and by his father who had died two years ago by a strange illness. His father had died shortly after his aunt had been disposed of — and that’s when his cousin, well, technically both cousin and brother had been put on the throne by their grandmother, the grand empress dowager.

While growing up, Zhan had witnessed his mother having quarrels with her sister— although it had been very one sided. Zhan despised his aunt for being in the position that clearly belonged to his mother. He despised that his father had loved his aunt more than his mother, and had doted on Zixin more than him. Not to mention that his aunt was his mother’s half sibling as well, staining the family line with foreigner blood.

Zhan’s own mother was currently still alive, for it had been them both who had decided on a course of action to dispose of Zixin’s mother. First, making sure she lost favor with the emperor, and Zixin as well. Although the hatred for Zixin wasn’t what Zhan had been wanting, yet it was enough for years to take a toll on Zixin’s mental health. But, Zixin didn’t fall into any ruin further due to having the apothecary’s as a companion—to which Zhan also had developed ‘feelings’ towards her, but he hated how she didn’t even give him so much as a second glance. And knowing that having Yanwen here to be Zixin’s companion is not what Zhan needed. Also knowing that her father would become a problem… especially if he wanted his plan to go forwards without any complications. With him around, he would most likely prevent his Aunt from falling into any serious illness. And though the Sun family had served the royal family for generations, Zhan had stressed to his own mother that they had to leave, or else their plan would not go through.

But of course, they had stayed, up until Zixin was put on the throne two years ago. Zhan knew that his grandmother had final say in a lot of matters, considering that his father was now gone and since Zixin was firstborn…

Now, for a plan that couldn’t get any better than he intended, Zhan was happy to note how Zixin had fallen into despair once the apothecary had left the palace with her father, and Zhan had intercepted the letter that had been sent in return to Zixin about why she and her father could not attend his coronation. Seeing how lonely and miserable his brother was had made Zhan’s own reputation all the better. It even helped that Zixin had now developed outbursts from time to time, especially still haunted with the memories of his mother, and trying to find to no end who was responsible for disposing of her. The bitch could rot in hell for all Zhan cared.

It was only about a year ago did Zhan and his mother truly devise up a plan and a way to dethrone Zixin. Zixin’s temper was rising and court officials were anxious about another outburst. But ever since Yanwen had arrived back into the palace, it has like she had placated Zixin back to his former years—to his personality before and it again had put a wrench in his plans.

What he had not been expected was Zixin’s first consort, Yue— to be as she was. Him and her had confided in one another, especially over their mutual hatred for Zixin. He knew she had her own goals of becoming empress consort and Zhan had promised her he would help her in whatever way. For he didn’t care if she ended up as empress consort, all he cared about was making himself emperor.

When her plan had seemingly failed to produce an heir, he had come to her that same day. “I don’t think your womb is barren, you know,” he commented as he watched her look at herself in the mirror. “I think what you need is someone to give you more potent seed,” he smirked at the idea itself, what fun would it be to get Yue pregnant, and then see the look on Zixin’s face when he realizes that Yue had produced a son after all.​