General RP Damnit, He’s Hot! (Firestarter)

Derek sighs and nuzzles his head into Kalin's stomach. "It was just like the other one I told you about, but you were toying with me, making me think that I had a shot with you and then laughing in my face while getting on your knees in front of the other guy to suck him off." Derek shudders and closes his eyes tightly. "It even went to the point of you bringing him to work and making me watch videos of you and him having fun together and making love to each other."
 
Kalin paled slightly, “If we ever ended, I would never do that to you. I would never flaunt sex in front of anyone like that, and I wouldn’t tease you or play with your feelings. I know how it feels, and it feels like shit. If I didn’t feel something for you, Derek, I would be honest.” He brushes his hands over his forehead, “But they’re called nightmares for a reason, they are dream your brain projects of your fears. And I promise you, Derek, I won’t do that to you.”
 
Derek sighs and slowly opens his eyes while still fighting back the tears that threaten to spill out. He didn't want to tell Kalin just how much it hurt to hear him say that there was an 'if' in regards to them breaking up for good. However, Derek had to be realistic with himself. Kalin could have any guy he wanted. Derek couldn't blame Kalin for not feeling as strongly as he did. He tries to push his thoughts aside and slowly pushes himself off of Kalin and sits back on his heels, still looking down at the bed. He wanted so badly for things to just go back to the way they were before everything happened.

Derek rubs his eyes to force away the tears and pushes his fingers through his hair before looking up at Kalin. He gives the other a small smile before carefully climbing off the bed and heading into the bathroom.
 
Kalin frowns and catches Derek’s wrist lightly, “Derek.” He murmurs, looking up at the other.

“I have no intentions of breaking you heart, or leaving you. None. I’m happy, happier than I have been for a long while. But I don’t want to promise you nothing will happen. People change and things change, and I don’t like making a promise I’m not sure I can keep.” He brushes his thumb over the inside of Derek’s wrist, feeling the racing pulse there.

“I. . . I really do care for you, Derek, and I don’t think it will ever change.” Kalin stares up at Derek, hoping to get his meaning across.
 
Derek smiles softly and nods. "It's okay, I understand Kalin." Derek steps closer and places a gentle kiss on Kalin's forehead, holding it for a couple seconds before pulling away. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I'm just happy I get to have whatever little time I can with you." He carefully pulls his wrist away and walks to the bathroom amd closes the door behind himself.
 
Kalin stares at Derek, shuddering. He didn't want Derek to think it would be a little amount of time. He wanted Derek to know that Kalin could see them together for a long time. But he was scared, and he didn't know how to voice the words. He shudders slightly, covering his face with a hand and flopping back. He closes his eyes, keeping his hand over his mouth.
 
Once the door closes behind him, Derek sighs and rubs a hand down his face. He didn't want to pressure Kalin and Derek figured it was best to just enjoy whatever time he had with his little minx. He was sure that Kalin would soon get tired of him and toss him aside, just as he had done to the women he used to be with. Derek groans tugs at his hair for a moment before turning on the sink faucet and splashing some cold water over his face.
 
(So. . . why do I feel like crying? XD)

Kalin lay there, his eyes squeezed shut and hand pressed over his mouth. He knew he was hurting Derek, that not yet being able to admit, to himself and the other man, that he loved Derek, was causing something in the other man to hurt. Kalin rolls onto his side, curling into a ball and staring at his knees. He felt a soft ache in his chest, something he hadn't really felt before, at picturing the look on Derek's face each time he doesn't say 'I love you' but instead says 'I care for you'. That he couldn't yet give Derek this one thing the man wanted.

And Kalin hurt. Seeing Derek's pain hurt Kalin and made Kalin want to comfort him, make him feel better. Was that what love was supposed to be? He'd been so scared to actually try to pursue it or feel it again after Keith. He bites down on his lip, should he try to explain that to Derek? WOuld it help lessen the other's pain if he understood why? Or would it just make things worse?
 
(Same! It's such an emotional scene!)

Derek takes his time shaving, brushing his teeth, and combing his hair. After applying his aftershave and cologne, Derek walks back into the bedroom. His heart sinks the second he sees Kalin curled into a tight ball. He hoped that Kalin hadn't seen the hurt in his face earlier, but obviously he was wrong. He felt horrible and knew that it was his own fault for wanting Kalin to open up so easily.

Derek quietly crawls onto the bed and curls around Kalin tightly. He buries his face into the other's hair from behind and wraps his arm around Kalin's waist to pull him tightly against Derek's chest. "I'm sorry Kalin. Please don't feel sad. I just want you to be happy and for us to enjoy our time together okay?"
 
Kalin rolls, facing Derek, his fingers knot into the other's short, gripping tightly. "Derek. . . I'm sorry. . . I-I just. . . I'm so scared and I don't know how to love again. . ." He looks up at Derek, shuddering once.

"I don't want you to think our time is limited. I don't want you to think I'll leave. I want you to think I'll stay and that we have time."
 
"Shhhh, shhhh, it's okay. I know, it's okay. You don't need to explain anything to me, Kalin." Derek pulls Kalin closer and get pets the back of his head. "I can't expect you to just open your heart so willingly after everything you've been through."

Derek kisses the top of Kalin head before resting his cheek in the same spot. "Just take a deep breath and relax. I don't think that you are leaving me baby."
 
Kalin bites his lip, "But you think I might. . . I saw it. . ." He whispers, shaking his head and pulling back. He stares up at Derek, his green eyes glittering slightly.

"You think I'll get tired or bored and move on. . . I-I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna play with your feelings or lead you on. I'm not that kinda guy. I just-" He takes a deep breath, staring into Derek's eyes. It was a beautiful color, one Kalin could never seem to look away from. "I just need you to know I'm trying and. . . And to be patient. Please."
 
Derek smiles as he gazes back into Kalin's eyes. If only he knew how long Derek was willing to wait for him. "Kalin, please don't ever feel that I am rushing you. I can't control your heart amd it will never be a problem for me to wait. Even of that day never comes, I'll still be happy to have you with me."

Derek pulls Kalin close again and places his hand on the back of Kalin's head. "I won't lie to you Kalin. I do fear that you will get tired of me, but I know you aren't the kind of person who would play with my heart."

Derek takes a deep breath and presses a long kiss to Kalin's forehead before pulling back slightly. "It's just.....this is the first time I've felt this way about anyone in a very long time. Being completely honest, the last time I had a 'romantic' relationship was back in high school. So please don't take my fears of you leaving seriously, it's just my irrationality peaking through."
 
Kalin nods slightly, swallowing again, "I don't. . . I just want you to understand. I don't want you hurting. I hate seeing you hurting and knowing I'm causing it." He presses close to Derek, taking comfort in his warmth.

"I'm sure it will come. . . I'm sure I can love you eventually." He murmurs, his eyes closing. His hands slide up and down Derek's sides.

"I hope I never get tired of you. I don't ever want to get tired of you, Derek." He murmurs, blowing out a soft breath.

"And I'm sorry I can't give you what you want yet, but I will try my best." He pulls back, looking up at Derek, "I will do my best, Derek."
 
"You don't need to anything, Kalin. Just be happy, that's all I ask." Derek smiles and kisses Kalin's forehead while gently caressing his hand up and down the other's back.

"You are not hurting me though. I am fine with waiting and making sure you are comfortable." Derek pulls Kalin closer and sighs softly.

"Please stop apoligizing. You have nothing to be sorry for. There will never be a time where you will need to do anything other than what you are doing now okay?"
 
Kalin swallows again, closing his eyes at the comforting words, "I am happy. . . I am so, very happy, Derek. You make me happy." He murmurs, his hands still sliding up and down Derek's sides.

"I saw the pain on your face. You can't tell me that I didn't cause it. That me being unable to say that I love you isn't hurting you in some way."

Kalin huffs, "I'm apologizing because I feel bad and feel sorry." He grumbles, pouting slightly.
 
Derek laughs and squeezes Kalin tightly. "All of which make you smile. So of course those are all included." Derek kisses Kalin's cheek and gazes into those green eyes again.

"And now....," Derek lowers his voice and leans down to whisper huskily into Kalin's ear. "I feel like seeing that smile again." Derek gently nibbles on Kalin's ear while moving his hand to grip the other's hip.
 
Kalin laughs softly, grinning at Derek and leaning into him slightly. He loved Derek's touch, and would never tire of it, he was sure of that.

He bites down on his lip, his eyes closing and he arches forward, pressing his chest to Derek's. "W-We've been doing that all afternoon and evening yesterday. . . You sure we should do it again?" He murmurs. He felt mildly sore, but it would feel nice to feel Derek after the emotional morning.
 
Derek growls softly and nibbles his way down Kalin's neck. He loved the way his little minx reacted to his every touch. It was one of the few things that helped Derek feel less useless.

"Well, if you're trying to tell me you don't want it," Derek leans down further and teasingly licks one of Kalin's nipples, "Then I'll stop amd just go work out instead." Derek smirks and slowly starts to pull away, wanting to see what Kalin would do.
 
Kalin"s head tipped back, his breath catching in his throat. His fingers curled into the blanket, gripping the soft fur.

Kalin's eyes fly open and he whines. He needed to be close to Derek. He needed to touch him. He could already feel himself getting hard at Derek's tone and teasing, "No!" He growls, letting go of the blanket to reach forward and grasp onto Derek's shirt.

"You fucking prick, you know that's not what I want!"
 
Kalin whimpers softly, his gaze locked on Derek, "Fuck- I- I want. . . want. . ." He huffs.

"Fun." He grumbles and then sucks Derek's thumb into his mouth. He sucks roughly, his tongue lapping at the pad of the digit and his teeth scraping lightly. He moved his head forward, taking it further into his mouth, his green eyes darkening.
 
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